K : Kids & Lockdown #AtoZChallenge2020

My son Meharaj is a little over 3 years old. And he misses going out of home in this lockdown. Going to movies! Going to school! Going to market! Three places, he clearly understands, are not home. He also asks me daily, if I am going to office, in his half baked vocabulary, when he sees me getting ready for my 'Work from Home' routine. The point I am trying to make here is that though he can't articulate or understand it, he definitely feels the impact of being under a lockdown. He looks forward to his terrace visits once or twice a day. The moment he wakes up in the morning, he goes to the balcony and looks at the outside world with an intense longing. 

During this lockdown he has started playing a really silly game with me, which I call 'Oh!Wow!' game. He must have played it before the lockdown also, but now he does it more frequently or may be I noticed now, that there is a pattern. The game goes something like this - 

Meharaj: Papa kya kal (kar) rahe ho (What are you doing papa? )

Papa: Watching TV Meharaj

Meharaj: Watching TV? Oh! Bao! (He pronounces 'Wow' as 'Bao')

After some time

Meharaj: Papa kya kal (kar) rahe ho

Papa: Working on my laptop

Meharaj: Paptop? Oh! Bao! (And he laughs every time he says it)

After some time

Meharaj: Papa kya kal (kar) rahe ho

Papa: Having tea!

Meharaj: Tea? Oh! Bao! 

Another version

Meharaj: Papa yeh kya hai (What is this papa? Pointing at random things)

Papa: Curtains!

Meharaj: Curtains? Oh! Bao! 

And I keep playing along, because he laughs every time he says "Oh! Bao! ". Some times I reverse the roles and I ask him these questions and before he can utter those words I say "Oh! Wow!" and he realizes that his papa stole the opportunity from him and he laughs even more intensely. 

Engaging kids during this period is a big task. Also ensuring that he doesn't disturb me too much,  while I am working in my room that now serves as my office, is difficult. And we also had to ensure that he enjoys washing his hands often. 

Not always successfully though, here are some of the things we have tried so far to engage him.

1. Give him time and company in open spaces available like terrace/balcony. He takes a walk along with me or replicates his mother doing her exercises.

2. We use his playschool worksheets and some learning games to keep him busy. Every few days we introduce a new game so that he doesn't get bored.

3. There is a time, off and on, he gets on my laptop to see things happen on MS Paint. He basically makes me do stuff as he watches. 

4. He watches Chu Chu TV for some time everyday on You Tube. He watches this particularly irritating Indian version of Johny! Johny! where Johny rides everything from a bicycle to a plane. The rhyme has no rhythm. But he watches it on loop. He doesn't allow us to play anything else. 

5. Her mother reads to him for sometime a day. 

6. We made hand-washing fun for him by telling him about foam and bubbles. Sometimes he over does it.

How are you managing with the kids at your home? Any tips? 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter K

2017: Kipps Bakery

2018: Kindness

2019: Killer Dialogues & Cheesy Dialogues in Hindi Films / Bollywood

...and he is 2

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." - A quote by Phyllis Diller, an American actress and a stand up comedian who had 6 children. 

21st December 2016 : My son Meharaj was born in Mumbai. I used to work in Mumbai then.

21st December 2017 : We celebrated his first birthday in Ludhiana. That is where his grandparents and our extended families live. I wrote about it here. 

21st December 2018 : We celebrated his second birthday in New Delhi. I had to travel regarding my work to New Delhi and didn't want to be away from him on this day, so I took him and my wife along with me. My mother and brother traveled all the way from Ludhiana to meet him in Delhi and we had a mini celebration. 

He has a sweet tooth, clearly.

He stays and goes to a playschool, in Chennai. And he had his first international vacation in Mauritius in November last year. Interestingly, he is a very well behaved child in flights, so far. Touch-wood! Because on ground he is unrestrained, putting it mildly. 

So he has in all probability, clocked more miles in 2 years than I did in first decade of my life. He has stayed in multiple cities and is exposed to many languages - English, Hindi, Punjabi, Tamil and Marathi. His parents don't know the last two. He is truly growing up in a multi-cultural environment. This is an exciting and a scary thought at the same time. 

Since I last wrote about him in this post, he has added few more words to his vocabulary. Though other children of his age speak many more words and more complex words too, he compensates for this lack of vocabulary with his exaggerated body language. Each word he has learned is always accompanied with a gesture. He keeps saying "Bye" to people in a musical way and with a wave of his hand. He looks really cute doing it. Then he has learned two words in Punjabi, "Bas" (stop or that's it) accompanied with a show of hand like a traffic cop and "Kitthe" (where) along with an upward nod of his face, as if questioning me. For him every bird is a crow. He sees a bird and he shouts happily, "K(r)owww," with the 'r' remaining silent. At times, he points towards himself and will keep repeating, "Baby" in his babbieee sound. While he learned the word "Papa" very early (in fact it was the first word he ever uttered), he still just keeps saying it without necessarily calling me out. Though when his mom asks to give his "Papa" something, he knows where to go. He doesn't say Mama or Mummy and surprisingly calls his mother "Paapi" or "Papi". But his favorite phrase is actually gibberish. He even keeps blabbering it in his sleep. "Kunte-Kunte". Guess what we were trying to teach him! "Chhotte-Chhotte." (Little-Little)

He has also learned to throw a tantrum and knows how to get things done. He is a really active child and can shake his legs in a clumsy manner when you ask him to dance. He keeps climbing on things and people without fear of falling. He likes to eat only while playing with my shoes. He likes to walk in them. He raids the refrigerator for chocolates or dates every time he gets a chance. When I reach home, he asks me to pick him up and then he would keep my pen, my watch and my wallet in the cupboard. The day I forget this ritual, he starts whining. He has now a complete set of teeth, with which he can give you the brightest smile or he can bite your fingers off. When he makes a mistake and he knows it, he will blink both his eyes in a way that you will be forced to kiss him or hug him.

I like my home to be clean and like my things to be at the right places. But Meharaj is not like that. He likes mess. He loves chaos. He throws toys, food, water, remotes, keys, creams, pillows, or anything which he can hold in his hands on the floor, on the bed, under the bed and inside the shower. I was too naive to think that I can keep my house in order. I have given up! I think I have finally learned to 'Let go'. I love him. 

M : My Son Meharaj #AtoZchallenge

Children are fascinated by the ordinary
and can spend timeless moments
watching sunlight play with dust.
Their restlessness they learn from you.
It is you who are thinking of there
when you are here.
It is you who thinks of then
instead of now.
Stop.
Let your children become the teachers, 
and you become the student.

~ This is an extract reproduced from Chapter 26 - Become the Student, from the book The Parent's Tao Te Ching - A New Interpretation by William Martin.

***
My son Meharaj is almost 16 months old now. He runs around and keeps falling often. He smiles and laughs a lot more. He can now climb up the beds and sofas with fair dexterity. He even tries climbing the steps of the staircase with assistance. This makes him happy. He keeps blabbering Pa-Pa, Ba-Ba, and Tay-tee-eh. A limited vocabulary, but he makes us understand his needs clearly with these three words/phrases and lot of other shrill sounds. He understands things little better. Like when I put on my shoes in the morning, he knows I am going out. He expresses his wish to go out with me by raising his arms and crying at times. He understands the ringing of the door-bell and run towards the door, whenever it rings. He is extremely moody. At times, he will just be with me and ignore his mother and at other times, he gives me the cold shoulder. He has a cute way of saying no to things. He nods his head the other way in a cute manner, when he doesn't want to come to me or eat more. And he has learned to throw a tantrum when required.

When I had held him for the first time in my hands, I had experienced unbridled joy. I had written about it here. When we celebrated his first birthday, I wrote about some of our father-son rituals here. Whenever I come home after office, all my stress and worries just melt away, the moment I pick him up. This part of his childhood is precious, when he is special in his world of two people - his parents. His world would have expanded by the same time next year, as he would have started his preschool by then. He would always remain special in our world, which is him.

Pic Description: Father and Son - Hand in Hand

The extract reproduced above, is the reason for writing this post. Here are the five things, I learned from Meharaj :

1. Enjoy the mundane - As we grow up, we forget the joy of doing simple things. Meharaj feels really happy just opening and closing drawers and throwing things around.

2. Move on - Grown-ups tend to cling on to things. We feel pain even when the reason of the pain doesn't exist. Two weeks ago, when Meharaj was being extra naughty he spilled the hot green tea his mother was having. Some drops fell on his hand. He cried a lot till the time he felt pain and he was his happy self soon. He loves his mother a lot, unconditionally.

3. Be curious - We leave our sense of wonder behind as we grow up. Nothing excites us. Meharaj is curious about everything. He follows me to the toilet as well to see what I do inside. It is a task to keep him out.

4. Don't hide your emotions - We stifle our laughs and wipe off our tears to fit in. Meharaj doesn't do that. He expresses everything. He remains silent and inexpressive when his grandparents video-call him. But when I travel, and video-call him in the evenings, he performs our shared silly routine with great enthusiasm. He puts the back of his hand in his mouth and makes inexplicable sounds and expect me to do so. And I do it.

5. Take risks - We stop taking risks as we grow up. We have our comfort zones. Meharaj takes risks. He tries to climb things - tables, chairs etc. at the risk of falling. He trusts us completely to stop him from falling. At times, he falls. He cries. We comfort him. And he climbs again.

As I wrote this post, he closed my laptop once, jumped on and off my lap multiple times and ate a tiny portion of a pancake. Meharaj has a silky, dense and unruly mop of hair, which shines in the sunlight. I enjoy running my hands through it. His two front upper teeth makes his goofy laugh so adorable. I love him. 

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My last year's challenge post from letter M was the 4th part in the series, where I write about my experiences with Mumbai. I am now in Chennai. But Mumbai will always be an integral part of my life. MUMBHAI - 4. Read it here. 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is all about writing stories, anecdotes and observations from my life in form of easy to read listicles. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

...and he is 1

“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.”

– Unknown

When Meharaj was born in December last year and I had held him in my arms for the first time, I was overwhelmed. I had written about that experience and the true meaning of Joy, here.

And let me tell you that, the experience of being a parent is indescribable. Yes, it is a joyful experience. But it is actually much more than that.

Everyday, when I reach home, after a long and tiring day at office, and he sees me, his eyes light up. No money can buy that glow in his eyes. He may still not fully understand my relationship with him, but he knows that we both love each other immensely and unconditionally. As I enter my home and put my bag down, he crawls excitedly or more recently toddles towards me with an infectious energy. He expects me to pick him up and shower kisses on his face. And this happens every day. As he grows up, and he understands our relationship better, I hope we are able to continue with this father-son ritual. 

The first word he ever uttered was 'Pa Pa'. That was another moment, I would always cherish. He still doesn't say much. Just makes lot of sounds, but strangely, we both make small conversations using these sounds. He stops doing things, when I say 'No', but only momentarily. He smiles at me and gets back to whatever he was doing. That is his cheeky rebellion. Also every time I blow a raspberry, he tries to imitate that mouth-fart sound by blowing his own spit bubbles. As he grows up, and he understands the words and their meaning better, I hope we make enriching conversations, which stay back with him, when I am gone.

We buy him toys, lots of them and of different types. But he doesn't play with them. He finds spoons, remotes, kitchen utensils, my bookshelf, and other random things more interesting. His curiosity and sense of wonder are traits, which I think, I should emulate.Whenever my wife is not around and I have to engage him, I find new games to play with him. And he picks them fast. Like in first few months, he used to enjoy me cupping his ears with my hands. He used to pull my hands to his ears, every time he felt bored. Then we discovered 'kicking legs'. Every time I would thump a surface with my hands, feet or legs, he will start kicking his legs faster and squeal with delight. Then he took fancy to 'peek-a-boo' with bed-sheets. Sometimes when I was busy with something else, he would pull a sheet on his head and ask me to play. The games keep changing, but his enthusiasm to try new things is a constant. As he grows up, and he understands sports and competition better, I hope we still keep playing for fun.

Over the last one year, he has made our lives happier and more beautiful. On his first birthday, 21st December 2017, we had an ice-cream and candies themed party, as he loves sweets a lot. And he is an absolute sweetheart. I love him.

J : Joy

A thing of beauty is a joy forever - A line from poem 'Endymion' by John Keats

We named our son, Meharaj. Meharaj means the Blessing of God. And he truly is. Now he is almost 4 months old. He is our first child. He was born on 21st December 2016 in the afternoon. When the nurse informed me about his arrival, I was pleased. Very pleased. Few minutes later, I was allowed into NICU to see him. He was very weak, born a month earlier than due date. But life was kicking inside him. My eyes welled up at that moment, seeing him. Life, in its most vulnerable form, but at its most resilient was in front of me. And I was tearing up. 

Two days later, when doctors allowed us to hold him and he was out of NICU, I held him in my arms. That was pure bliss, pure joy. I can't describe that joy in words. What I described above, the hours and days before I held him, were moments of pleasure. The pleasure of knowledge that I am a father now. The pleasure, that I brought him to the world. But when I held him in my arms, the 'I' melted away. He wasn't the only one born that day, the father in me was too.

I think that is the difference between pleasure and the joy. Pleasure is for the body, for the 'I'. Drinking gives pleasure, but it is the company of friends that gives joy. Making love to a girl gives pleasure, but getting unconditional love from someone is joy. 

Every time, I hold Meharaj in my arms, I know there is nothing better in life. I love him.