Y : Youth & Regret #AtoZChallenge2020

The dreams of the youth are the regrets of maturity 

~ Tim Curry, English Actor & Singer

Extended lockdown period is also about to get over on 3rd May 2020, and many of us in red zone districts are not sure about its further extension. While everyone in my social circle is making efforts to stay positive, some have faced few moments of anxiety and in some cases moments of regret too. Regrets which cloud our peaceful existence in idle moments! Regrets which we shouldn't carry into our old age / maturity! This led me to a poem, I had written on a whim in 2016, but never shared it with anyone. It is the job of a novice. But I didn't want to regret later, that I never shared it on my blog. 

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Poem : Youth & Regret

I remember my harum-scarum youth,

When I kissed you in the school booth.

I remember the freckle on your face,

Getting you in my arms was no less than a chase.

I remember the day, when we took different routes,

You forgot me completely, but I missed you in bouts.

I remember the years where worth remembering happened nothing,

I got lot of action but stopped feeling a thing.

I remember getting married and having a grown up son,

It was too late when I realized, you were the one. 

Today, I am alone on my death bed,

Looking back on my life, some tears I just shed.

I wonder where you are and what you are doing,

I wish I hadn't slapped you that day, it was my undoing. 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter Y

2017: Yumdude

2018: Yes and No - The success mantra

2019: Yash Chopra's cliches - Hindi Films / Bollywood

S : Story

I had attended a writing workshop last year in June. One of the first exercises in it was to describe my first relationship. It was a tricky exercise for two reasons. One, my first relationship was very painful and I am very sensitive about sharing details of the same. Second, I didn't want to talk about real locations and people at all. So I decided to take the core element of that relationship and changed everything around it and weaved a fictional story. That exercise helped me in a therapeutic way. So whether my quality of writing was good or bad, it didn't matter. 

As the theme for my April Blogging Challenge was to right anecdotes from my life, I think this post will qualify, given the context above. The story I wrote then is reproduced below.

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Story - The Minor Glitch

Anuj was a young dashing guy. He had an athletic body and girls in his class swooned over him. He was very sensitive and intelligent too. He cared for his friends and family and was a class topper.

Saakshi had recently moved to his neighbourhood. They both started interacting at a birthday party, where both were invited. While Anuj was popular in his neighbourhood, Saakshi had a strange effect on him. He was just enamoured by her beauty. Saakshi was fully aware about this effect she had on him.

One day she invited him over to her home. They both were eating nachos, when she kept her hand on his thigh. He trembled with excitement. She had charmed him and was controlling his senses. They both got into a sexual relationship and started meeting regularly. For a while, Anuj enjoyed it. He had fallen in love with Saakshi. But they never said it to each other.

Whenever they met the only thing on their minds was lust.

Initially Saakshi was aggressive in bed. Gradually Anuj in his bid to impress her, started getting rough. Saakshi didn’t like this reversal of roles.

She had chosen Anuj as she thought she can dominate him and exploit him. He was a young guy studying in 9^th grade, while she had just completed her graduation. What she was doing was illegal anyways.

With Anuj getting aggressive, she wanted a way out. One day she told Anuj, that he is a very dirty person and she can’t carry on with this abusive relationship. She made Anuj feel guilty about something he didn’t really understand at that age.

Today, Anuj is a successful entrepreneur and runs a million dollars business. But he still feels that he was responsible for abusing Saakshi. He hasn’t married till date.

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