V : Very Good Questions #AtoZChallenge2020

A behavioral scientist, Elizabeth Weingarten, recently published an article titled - 20 questions to ask instead of "How are you doing right now?" 

She goes on to say that when the pandemic started it was a useful question at first, an assumption-free signal of care. But when you keep asking this question on default mode, the responses become almost scripted and reflexive. Also when you keep asking the same question again and again you lose out on a chance of building deeper connections. It is a beautiful article which then goes on to list 20 questions which go beyond "How are you doing right now?"

Though I must also say, that in a totally different context, I had dabbled with this subject myself two years back. You can click here to read that post as well.

For today's post, I am going to answer the questions listed by Elizabeth, for myself. May be this exercise will help me get in touch with my inner self and help you understand me much better. So here we go.

Eleven questions for making a true connection

1. How are you taking care of yourself today?

Answer: Not something earth shattering, but during this lockdown, I have reduced my diet a bit and have been drinking less and also ensuring some physical activity whenever I get time off from my work. 

2. What part of your shelter-in-place residence have you come to appreciate the most?

Answer: Our terrace and balcony. I mean these are the only open spaces we have access to right now. I envy people who have gardens. 

3. What surprising thing have you been stocking up on (that isn't toiler paper)?

Answer: Surprisingly nothing. We are not panic buying. Though we have to always keep enough cookies in stock for our son. Also I wish I had stocked up some liquor before the lockdown started. Now I have to ration it judiciously. 

4. What's a story - from a book, a movie, an article, a conversation - that you've been gripped by recently? Why did it capture you?

Answer: I recently finished Jaya by Devdutt Patanaik. It is a retelling of Mahabharata. It had some fascinating stories. A total escape from these dreary times. 

5. What habit have you started, or broken, during the quarantine?

Answer: Nothing much. But I think I am watching lesser TV on weekdays. And I am spending relatively more time with my son. Now whether these are habits or the situation is forcing these acts, time will tell. 

6. Which specific place in your neighborhood are you most looking forward to visiting one this is all over?

Answer: Obviously, a cinema hall and the neighborhood bar. 

7. What is the easiest part about the quarantine?

Answer: There is no commute to office. But I must say 'Work From Home' is something I have come to dislike as it means that one has to be connected for more hours. 

8. What are some things you have realized that you don't really need?

Answer: So many shoes!

9. What is something you own that feels useful?

Answer: Internet connection, microwave and books

10. What is your COVID-19 nickname/alter-ego?

Answer: No one has kept a nickname for me but I think my alter-ego should be Iron-Man. Because, I keep tinkering with stuff. May be this is not an honest answer. So my dear reader, why don't you give me a nickname in the comments section. Moderation is on. So be nice please! 

11. What problem - either yours, or something more global - do you wish you could solve?

Answer: Fake news & people who think 'Work From Home' is a holiday. 

Nine questions for taking things a step further

12. What's something that you miss that surprises you? What's something that you don't miss that surprises you?

Answer: I miss office and its more regular working hours. I am not missing watching films, in a cinema hall. Surprising, because I am a movie buff, who can watch back to back movies on a big screen, every weekend. May be that is also because nothing is getting released anyway so I am not having FOMO.

13. Which member of your family / friend group have you been thinking about the most during this time? Why?

Answer: My parents. They stay far from me. But I always had this comfort in my mind that we can visit each other, whenever we want. Now I realize how we take things for granted. Something as simple as flights. 

14. What's the most generous act you've seen recently?

Answer: I really appreciate the work, doctors and nurses have been doing. And people who are ensuring delivery of essentials. I know some people who are feeding the hungry. That makes me feel the goodness all around. 

15. What's the last thing you experienced that made you laugh, or cry?

Answer: My son always makes me feel happy and makes us laugh. Last night, we played hopscotch on our terrace. Me and my wife. For a brief time, we went back to our childhood. 

16. What times of the day or the week are hardest?

Answer: Every night when I lie down, I am more anxious these days. When I am engaged in work, I feel okay though. Also Sunday evenings are gloomy. Because you may believe it or not, I still get the Monday Blues. 

17. What's giving you hope right now?

Answer: That I am not alone in this. My family is with me. And the fact that I still have a job. 

18. What's the best thing that happened to you today?

Answer: Few people gave nice comments on the blogpost I wrote yesterday. 

19. How do you want this experience to change you? How do you think it will?

Answer: I don't know if it will. But I want that it helps me make more brave choices in life.  

20. What do you hope we all learn or take away from this experience?

Answer: I hope that we all learn that joy is in smaller things and let us hope we all slow down a bit and reflect on the purpose of our lives.

I urge all of you to do the following:

1. Read the original article written by Elizabeth by clicking here

2. Read my post on a similar subject but written in a different context

3. Give me a nickname (refer to Q10) in the comments section

4. Answer few of the above questions, if you feel like, in comments section and let me know more about you. 

See you all on Monday, with my letter W post. God Speed! 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter V

2017: VCR and Video Tapes

2018: VCR and Video Tapes Part II

2019: Viewers and Voice-overs in Hindi Films / Bollywood

U : Umbrella, A Pair of Formal Shoes & That Suitcase #AtoZChallenge2020

The black formal shoes stomped about in Umesh's closet. Angrily!

The jaded blue umbrella lying in the corner, stifled a yawn and ignored this tantrum.

The blue, classy suitcase, as usual was sleeping on the top shelf of the closet.

"It has been 30 days", shouted the pair of shoes oblivious to the discomfort it was causing to the suitcase. The blue suitcase was the newest member in this closet and it usually kept to itself. The commotion made by the shoes, woke it up, but it kept pretending to sleep. 

"Hmmm!", said the umbrella. Umbrella was considered the wisest in this closet. Though it was a pretty standard 'Hmmm', everyone in the closet thought it was full of wisdom, unknown to them. 

"30 days since I went out! Umesh has never done this to me before. These days, all he wears is his stupid bathroom slippers," the shoes whined.  

"I haven't seen sunlight or rains for months now. I think rains are still two months away", the umbrella spoke calmly. 

"Don't you get bored? May be you are used to getting neglected by Umesh. But for me it is a new experience. Till a month ago he used to shine me daily. Now I lie here in a corner gathering dust. Those damn slippers - they are plastic. I am the real deal", the pair of shoes retorted sharply. 

The umbrella knew that there was hard truth in what shoes said. But come rains, Umesh can't do without it. Though it never gets to see his office, like the black pair does and is usually left outside drying. It also doesn't get to travel with Umesh like the suitcase does. But umbrella had the wisdom to understand that it has a purpose to serve and it is very good in it. "Hmmm!", umbrella responded. 

"And why is Umesh not going out of the home anyway? Is there a curfew outside? I don't like this 'Work-from-Home' drama which he started a month back. He doesn't even wear his socks now. I used to really like the pink ones that he wore on Fridays. They were so soft. My insides used to get excited seeing them. You know I really have had some dirty thoughts about the pink socks in past. Also I really liked that grassy, muddy, sticky patch in the parking lot of his office. Every time he stepped into it, he used to get agitated, but the warmth and moistness of the mud really touched my soul. Every time, I tell you", the shoes kept on blabbering. "Tell me what is the most exciting thing you have done", the shoes asked the umbrella.

Normally the umbrella would remain silent when asked such stupid questions, but today it was in a giving mood. "When I was relatively new and my blue was like that of a bright sunny sky, Umesh used to lend me to his office colleague at times. She was a beautiful lady and her hands were so soft. And she really used to take great care of me. Sometimes I miss that kind of love. But then Umesh has had me for years now. His colleagues generally change their umbrellas every season", the umbrella replied and the mood in the closet turned somber. 

The suitcase couldn't control itself anymore. It jumped into the conversation from the top shelf. "You guys give too much importance to your owner. We shouldn't get attached to such things. We all know they care for us only till the time we serve their needs. Learn to live happily with what you have. And this Umesh! What should I say about him! I have seen him naked. He changes clothes in front of me every time we stay in a hotel together. And his laptop bag and I share naughty glances every time he does that. I mean he isn't that great. Typical dad-bod", the suitcase guffawed.

"Hmmm!", said the umbrella and this time everyone started laughing. 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter U

2017: Usha Madam

2018: Urination in open

2019: Uncles in Hindi Films / Bollywood

T : The Infinite Game & Siddhartha - Book Reviews #AtoZChallenge2020

The post "Books in Lockdown" was about books that the current dystopian times reminded me of. Subsequently, I wrote another books related post titled "Haruki Murakami & Other Escapes", which was about few books that I recommended as an escape from these times. But today, I am going to talk about two books, which I actually read few months back, in the period when Covid19 had just started spreading across the world. 

The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek

This one comes highly recommended. There are certain books, where you can't dispute the logic or intent, but as a reader, you constantly keep struggling with the solidity and the execution of the concepts being talked about. This book talks about how corporate leaders are conditioned to think short-term and finite, while the game being played is infinite. He provides a framework which is anchored on having a Just Cause or what I would call the purpose that should be your north star. A cause which helps build trusting teams. The author, at one point makes an interesting distinction between sports and corporate world. (While, we have been always given analogies of sports at corporate meets.) He clearly states that we should look out for worthy rivals rather than competition, like in finite sports. He tells with examples of brands like Apple, how existential flexibility, can help a brand pivot from its core product, (in this case from computers to phones, music etc.) if Just Cause is not centered around a product or a number, and courage to lead is in ample supply. 

Some cases shared are interesting. I also liked the chapter on Ethical Fading, because it seemed more tangible than others. It talks about the concept where you might follow law to the letter, but not necessarily in spirit or as per morality. But its the analogy of the Vietnam War and who really won it, that stayed back with me. 

I always find this genre of books difficult to wrap my head around. For example the Kodak and the Apple stories have been cited in so many books, using so many frameworks, that you kind of know the beats already and you also get it that in real world things don't operate that simplistically. Things work out or fail because of several variables at play. But among this genre of books, this one is far more coherent, and there is clarity of intent and writing is lucid. There are certain chapters that help you reflect on the way you look at success - both personal and professional and the way you look at team building. Also the discussion between 'legal' and 'ethical' is very interestingly put across. And thus the book is enriching in that sense. 

A line from the book which I really liked - "If the true purpose of business was only to make money, there would be no need for so many companies to pretend to be cause or purpose driven"

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

It is a book about the spiritual journey of a man called Siddhartha during the time of Buddha. I have never read such a book before. It reads like a novel, but it is not. It is easy to read but difficult to understand and absorb. It is a book which one will have to read multiple times over one's lifetime, because takeaways from it depends on your mental state and your interpretation, at the given time of your life. As the book was originally written, in German, in simple lyrical style, I also felt that rhythm in the English translation is missing, which at times may be jarring. But one has to overcome that to really take something away from this book. 

The key themes of the book which I liked were, the totality of experience one must immerse in and the difference between 'seeking' and 'finding' . Also the fact that enlightenment can't be taught but it has to come from within is brought out beautifully through Siddhartha's journey. 

Two quotes from the book which talk about the themes I liked, are reproduced below for your delight. 

“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else ... Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.”

“What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.”

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What was the last book you liked and why? Do tell me in the comments section.

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter T

2017: Trains

2018: Tamil words I learned in last one year

2019: Titles & Title Songs in Hindi Films / Bollywood