R : Roads are Empty #AtoZChallenge2020

When I peer out of my window, all I see is stillness. Stillness of the empty roads. This is one of the key and defining features of this lockdown. Roads that now lead to nowhere for most of us. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit. But you get the drift? Right?

Newspapers report that road rage cases and road accidents have dropped sharply since lockdown started. Yeah! Geniuses! We needed a newspaper to infer that.

Despite these positive side-effects of the empty roads, I have now started missing the buzz. On day 28 of the lockdown, am I missing those traffic jams? Not really! But I am also not liking this long pause in our lives. It feels like a midnight halt of a train at a deserted railway station. How would the roads be feeling? They must be growling from inside, that they have been rendered completely useless. Just like us. But then as these random ramblings bother my mind, my phone rings. Something related to work demands my attention. Then for next few hours I am in work-mode. And I forget those lonely and empty roads, till the time I next peer out of my window.

I see an ambulance sometimes. A Zomato delivery guy at times. A vegetable vendor daily. If it is early morning, I see municipal workers too, cleaning the roads. When roads are empty, you notice things that you didn't notice earlier. Roads are not really empty. May be they are happy, that essential people are only using it. No one is spitting on them! Littering! But then roads are so inexpressive. I would never know. Like a meandering road, my thoughts then travel towards the emptiness of our lives. Before I can further go down this path, my little son, walks into the room. He fills my heart like all those essential people who are filling the empty roads now. We go to our terrace for a walk. And I look at roofs of all the neighboring buildings. Every roof has its own walker. An exercise freak. A star gazer. The night sky is beautiful. For many years, we didn't notice these stars too. Then I look down towards the road. It is still empty. But I realize our lives are not.

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter R

2017: Robbed

2018: Recycle Bin

2019: Remixes in Hindi Films / Bollywood

Crazy People - Part I

Let me be upfront here. I don't know why I have titled the post like this. I don't have any idea whether there would be a Part II or Part III. I am not even sure, what I am going to write about in this post. I just like the phrase, "Crazy People". May be I am crazy to think that I can write multiple posts with the same title. May be I am not only crazy, but also lazy. Too lazy to think of new post titles! 

But let me assure you that when these two words - crazy & people - come together in my mind, the images that take shape in front of my eyes are really amusing. You guys are unlucky, because my words would never be effective enough to explain those images. 

Duck! Run for cover! Phew! 

Let me still try to explain. 

I just imagined a crazy person (Let us call him Mr. C) who sent me a calendar request without checking my calendar. Basics! You muttered under your breath? But Mr. Crazy is too big for his boots to do such mundane tasks. I am sure you have a Mr. C in your life too. Can you imagine his face? And can you imagine those word clouds, filled with the choicest of cuss words, that accompany the face you imagined? 

I hope now you understand what I am getting at!

That reminds me of yet another crazy person, I know. Five of us were at a restaurant last week, with a crazy dinner & drinks package. In Rs. 1100, one could get unlimited beer, unlimited snacks served on the table and buffet dinner to top it. I kept wondering, which crazy person would design such a loss making package for his or her restaurant. But then I saw this crazy person in our group pouring draft beer in a soda bottle, to carry home. Now who does that! Especially when someone serves you unlimited beer! Is the world really coming to an end?

Humans are naive. They don't understand complex things. They want everything to be spoon-fed. They aren't comfortable with choices. They want everything to be in black or white. (Except this crazy girl I know who can tell the difference between "purple" and "mauve" colors. She must be an alien).

Lot of crazy people don't understand the difference between correlation and causal relationship. They don't even understand the concept of multiple variables leading to an outcome. Like all BJP (ruling political party in India) acolytes think Congress (losing political party of India) lost recent elections because Rahul Gandhi (who was the president of Congress till few weeks ago) is a dumb or a crazy person. They don't realize that there are several other variables at play. Maybe Congress party has no strong cadre at grass-root levels. Similarly, all the losers think that BJP won, because almost everybody who voted for BJP has xenophobic tendencies. They might have totally ignored, populist measures taken by BJP for rural and economically less privileged Indians. I am not indicating here that one factor is more important than the other. There might have been several factors at play. But is it crazy on my part to expect nuance in political debates?

A movie critic doesn't want me to watch Salman Khan films because he has done few bad things in real life, though his on-screen characters are generally too nice to be true. The same critic doesn't want me to watch the latest Shahid Kapoor film, because he plays a really bad and toxic guy on screen. And the ADULTS who went to watch the film, might get influenced by this character. This is despite the fact that Kapoor is considered one of the nicest human beings in the film industry. Typical, family man! This critic also found a violent female character in Gully Boy, spunky. Not toxic! Spunky! Clearly consistency is not the trait of crazy people!

A crazy thought just crossed my mind! I have more to say about the craziness in this world. There will be a Part II. 

Theme Reveal #AtoZChallenge 2019

It is that time of the year again. April  A to Z blogging challenge is knocking on the door. This will be my third consecutive year of participation. And I am really excited to complete it this time too. Looking forward to your comments, feedback and most importantly encouragement to make this happen. As they say third year is always the toughest one. So fingers crossed!

For the uninitiated, this challenge is about writing a blog-post daily through the month of April, except on Sundays. And to raise the bar higher, one has to post with topics arranged thematically from A to Z. 26 letters of the alphabet! 26 posts!

In 2017 my theme was 'Anecdotes and Stories from my Life'. You can read all the posts from that challenge here. In 2018 my theme was 'Listicles - Stories, anecdotes and observations from our daily lives in form of easy-to-read lists'. You can read all the posts from that challenge here. If you haven't read them before, do have a look. I am sure you will find at least one post that resonates with you. 

The theme I have chosen this year is related to a subject very close to my heart - Films. I love watching films, discussing them and sometimes writing about them. So here is my theme for this year's challenge : Hindi Film Industry / Bollywood Cliches

In fact the name Bollywood used to describe Bombay Cinema or Hindi Language Film Industry itself is a cliche. While Hollywood is a place, Bollywood isn't. Bollywood is a portmanteau of "Bombay" and "Hollywood". Let the movies begin! 

Fast September

September of 2018, already feels like eons away. And it went by in the blink of an eye. All its memories  will soon become hazy and melt into the monolith of the time gone by. It makes me wonder about all the years, months, weeks, days and hours which were exactly the same. Nothing stands out. Yes, there are some milestones and memories, which I remember vividly. The memories, which actually define my life. Our lives. But then what is life? The moments and milestones which define it or the time you spend in between those memorable moments. 

There is so much of the same happening to all of us, that our memories now play with us. I generally remember key dates - like birthdays of my close friends and colleagues - very well. But if you ask me after few weeks of reading a book, about that book, I may not be able to recall all the details. So does reading help? I think it does. Because just like our lives, the narrative itself isn't the key. It is all the same. There is a set-up, followed by a conflict and then the resolution. What stays back from any book, is not the narrative, but the addition it makes to your perspective and the way you see your world.

The two books I read last month were as different as chalk and cheese. One was Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, which is essentially a love story written like a thriller. The other one was Salil Desai's 3 and a Half Murders, which is a whodunit but it works better as a police procedural.

In my earlier posts on Murakami's books, I had mentioned that he becomes inaccessible as an author at times. So people recommended Norwegian Wood, because they thought it is a straight-forward story. But I liked it for very different reasons. 

The key protagonists of this book - Toru and Naoko, whose love story, the author wants you to believe is epic, are the most boring and painful characters in this book. Both let things happen to them. They are just living their lives in between the key moments brought upon them by others. The other characters in this book - like Midori, who brings liveliness to the proceedings or Reiko who lends gravitas and mystique to the entire issue of mental illness  and loneliness explored in this story - are the ones who really move things forward. They catalyze things. They trigger events. They cause conflicts. These characters are so well fleshed out, that they make this book a great read. 

While the author doesn't get into the surreal zone - but his ability to make me think about memories of our lives (That explains my personal reflections in first two paragraphs of this post) and hide and seek these memories play with our minds - he creates a world equivalent to the world of magical realism he creates in his other books. So while the narrative is straight-forward, the reading of this book still leaves you with some twisted questions which you will keep chewing upon days after you have finished it. 

Lastly, the author uses sex liberally in the book, not to tantalize, but as a metaphor for the escape we seek from our mundane lives, the lives we spend between two milestones or two vivid memories. I think this aspect makes this book epic. Not its love story. 

I got 3 and a Half Murders as a gift on my birthday. I haven't read any of Salil Desai's books in past. And it was after a long time, I was reading a crime fiction. So I was really excited about it. It partially lives up to the expectations you have from such novels. It has a fast paced story, with characters that you encounter in daily lives or have heard about them. It is set in a very real world. It keeps you engaged throughout. The lead police officer / investigator has a sharp mind but is often weighed down by his physical ailments. That makes him standout in the world full of James Bond kind of operatives. The book works really well as a police procedural and thus makes you enjoy the details of an investigation. But as a whodunit, it disappoints. By the end of it, you really don't care who is the killer. Though you may not be able to guess who it is. Also the conclusion seems far from satisfactory and rushed. If you are looking for a rank page turner to spend time in a long flight, this one is a safe bet. 

September was like any other non-memorable month. I had been really busy with office work and travel. So the books really helped. Oh! I almost forgot that I shifted from one apartment to another on 1st of September. Staying in rental places is a pain. You don't feel rooted. That event of shifting though, itself feels like eons away. 

The Third Room

The house I stay in right now, has this small extra room, which we rarely use. We have partially converted it into a storage place. But my toddler often visits that room out of curiosity and explores the stuff lying there. Also as my parents and my niece were here recently, I used that room more often in last two weeks. One particular morning, when I was in that Third Room, I felt this strange sense of calm. Also I felt, I have been to such Third Rooms in past. Like that store room, in my grandparents' place which felt cold and haunted at times, but it had those large metal trunks, the ones that held blankets and rajais (bed quilts/duvets) and may be some secrets too. 

As a child did you ever escape into the world of your imagination while hiding in that metal trunk in the Third Room?

There was this cemented water tank on the second floor of the house I grew up in. Everyone stayed in that house - parents, brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. The space below that tank was a great way to hide from others and still enjoy the cold there in hot summers. The cold which might have frightened someone weaker than me. 

As a child did you ever think of yourself as a master strategist planning your next battle move lying on your back in a damp space of the Third Room?

The annual grains' supply for the entire joint family used to come in large gunny bags. For few days before the grains were transferred to the steel silos, the bags lied there in a corner in a bulwark formation. The evenings were really exciting. The cops chased all the robbers with their toy guns. The games we played revealed who were on the dark side.

As a child did you ever wait endlessly in the Third Room, behind a wall of gunny bags, to spring a surprise?

The Third Room is not really a physical space. It exists somewhere in our minds. As we grow up, we lock it up and forget about it. It is a place which is a great escape from our routine. It is a place to reflect upon the next move in your life. It is a place which might spring a pleasant surprise. The first two rooms are all about your family and your work. This Third Room is about you. It is time you find it and open it. The key is right there. There in your own hands.

2018 A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal

Last year I participated in A - Z April Blogging Challenge, and it was a great experience. I believe, I wrote some of my best posts during the challenge. Also, it helped me rejuvenate my blog. I started writing more frequently, even after the challenge finished. So I have decided to participate this year as well.

For those who are not familiar with the challenge, here is the deal. Bloggers all across the world will write 26 posts through the month of April, from A to Z.  Last year my theme was 'Anecdotes and Stories from my Life' . J: Joy and G : Grandfather were among my favorite posts, because my family members really liked them. But there were several other funny anecdotes from my life, which you may like to read about before the new challenge begins. 

Last year, while I was able to write a post daily, the biggest problem I faced was, to find a topic for the day as per alphabet. More than writing the post, the effort in finding the topic, drained my energy. So this year, I have listed 26 tentative topics before hand. That should help me remain on track. 

My theme for this year's challenge is : Listicles - I will be writing stories, anecdotes and observations from our daily lives in form of easy-to-read lists.

Do I have your attention? Please come back on April 1st to find A : Amazing things that...

Self Respect

People have agendas and motives. There is no doubt about that. I have one. And you have one. But having an agenda isn't such a bad thing after all. A relationship - of any kind - must have an agenda. That will keep it exciting for both people involved in it. 

In fact, both entities in a relationship should have a motive to stay invested in the relationship. A relationship, where only one person has a goal to achieve, will eventually die down. It is not sustainable. And before you jump to any conclusion, let me also clarify what I mean by an agenda / motive here. It is not about some selfish need only. 

The motive could be as simple as, putting a smile on your partner's face. Every time. Every day. Simple. Yet profound. 

Also I am not only talking about personal relationships. The motive could be reading different books and sharing your knowledge with each other. Imagine, if only one person reads books and other doesn't. Eventually, that relationship will wither away.

So the problem is not that people have agendas. Problem is when people are not transparent about their motives. Problem is when people are in a relationship only to fulfill their motives with no intention to help fulfill the motives of 'the Other' in the same relationship. Such people are vicious and if you have to maintain your self respect, you should end that relationship at the earliest. I am no expert in relationships neither I am a philosopher to tell you what are the signs which will help you identify such people. 

Also, sometimes, you could be at fault in not understanding the other person or his / her motives. That shouldn't be a reason to end the relationship. You should be fully sure, that you have made all efforts to unearth the agenda of 'the Other' and you have given 'the Other' also full chance to understand yours. People are complex but motives are generally simple. So talk, discuss, ask questions. Do everything which will help understand each other better. But define a point in your mind, after which you will know whether it is working or not. 

Recently, I left a job. I moved cities. My equation with few people changed. I was no longer a colleague to someone. I was no longer a boss to someone. I was no longer physically close to some one else. It is a kind of hot cauldron situation in relationships. People who were associated with you for a motive which was purely work related, will drift away. There is no point holding on to that relationship. It also helped me identify those people, whose motives were earlier not clear to me. Maintaining a relationship with them felt tiring. And stressful. All of a sudden people will not get your jokes or they will have an excuse to explain their changed behavior. Let them be. That will help you maintain your sanity and self respect. You can not let your self worth be decided by those people, who never had the integrity which any relationship should have. 

I moved from a city, I loved, after 12 years. I changed a job after 10 years. And change brings with it pain. It brings with it a sense of reflection of past. This change isn't going to be as simple as changing a job or a city. This will bring with it demise of some friendships, which I valued. Simply because, I stopped serving a purpose for 'the Other' now. It is time to re-calibrate and move on, rather than holding on to someone for whom you are no longer useful. 

Change also brings with it freshness, new people and new opportunities. Focus on that. If a relationship makes you feel tired, let it go. 

On a lighter note, there are few things which are always reassuring. People who bonded with you over drinks and alcohol are very transparent about their agendas. Either their agenda to be with you is drinking, which is really a good thing. As it is highly sustainable till the time either of you damage your liver permanently. Or their agenda is obvious due to drinking. So you can always count on such friends. 

You can also count on those relationships, where swear words and profanities are used without inhibitions. You both have gone through pressure situations together in past and survived. 

So if you want to stay happy and maintain your self respect in this world full of turncoats, pick up a drink and shout Cheers Bhenc**d!!!

# for non Indian readers - Bhenc**d ~ Sisterf****r