Fast September

September of 2018, already feels like eons away. And it went by in the blink of an eye. All its memories  will soon become hazy and melt into the monolith of the time gone by. It makes me wonder about all the years, months, weeks, days and hours which were exactly the same. Nothing stands out. Yes, there are some milestones and memories, which I remember vividly. The memories, which actually define my life. Our lives. But then what is life? The moments and milestones which define it or the time you spend in between those memorable moments. 

There is so much of the same happening to all of us, that our memories now play with us. I generally remember key dates - like birthdays of my close friends and colleagues - very well. But if you ask me after few weeks of reading a book, about that book, I may not be able to recall all the details. So does reading help? I think it does. Because just like our lives, the narrative itself isn't the key. It is all the same. There is a set-up, followed by a conflict and then the resolution. What stays back from any book, is not the narrative, but the addition it makes to your perspective and the way you see your world.

The two books I read last month were as different as chalk and cheese. One was Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, which is essentially a love story written like a thriller. The other one was Salil Desai's 3 and a Half Murders, which is a whodunit but it works better as a police procedural.

In my earlier posts on Murakami's books, I had mentioned that he becomes inaccessible as an author at times. So people recommended Norwegian Wood, because they thought it is a straight-forward story. But I liked it for very different reasons. 

The key protagonists of this book - Toru and Naoko, whose love story, the author wants you to believe is epic, are the most boring and painful characters in this book. Both let things happen to them. They are just living their lives in between the key moments brought upon them by others. The other characters in this book - like Midori, who brings liveliness to the proceedings or Reiko who lends gravitas and mystique to the entire issue of mental illness  and loneliness explored in this story - are the ones who really move things forward. They catalyze things. They trigger events. They cause conflicts. These characters are so well fleshed out, that they make this book a great read. 

While the author doesn't get into the surreal zone - but his ability to make me think about memories of our lives (That explains my personal reflections in first two paragraphs of this post) and hide and seek these memories play with our minds - he creates a world equivalent to the world of magical realism he creates in his other books. So while the narrative is straight-forward, the reading of this book still leaves you with some twisted questions which you will keep chewing upon days after you have finished it. 

Lastly, the author uses sex liberally in the book, not to tantalize, but as a metaphor for the escape we seek from our mundane lives, the lives we spend between two milestones or two vivid memories. I think this aspect makes this book epic. Not its love story. 

I got 3 and a Half Murders as a gift on my birthday. I haven't read any of Salil Desai's books in past. And it was after a long time, I was reading a crime fiction. So I was really excited about it. It partially lives up to the expectations you have from such novels. It has a fast paced story, with characters that you encounter in daily lives or have heard about them. It is set in a very real world. It keeps you engaged throughout. The lead police officer / investigator has a sharp mind but is often weighed down by his physical ailments. That makes him standout in the world full of James Bond kind of operatives. The book works really well as a police procedural and thus makes you enjoy the details of an investigation. But as a whodunit, it disappoints. By the end of it, you really don't care who is the killer. Though you may not be able to guess who it is. Also the conclusion seems far from satisfactory and rushed. If you are looking for a rank page turner to spend time in a long flight, this one is a safe bet. 

September was like any other non-memorable month. I had been really busy with office work and travel. So the books really helped. Oh! I almost forgot that I shifted from one apartment to another on 1st of September. Staying in rental places is a pain. You don't feel rooted. That event of shifting though, itself feels like eons away. 

The Third Room

The house I stay in right now, has this small extra room, which we rarely use. We have partially converted it into a storage place. But my toddler often visits that room out of curiosity and explores the stuff lying there. Also as my parents and my niece were here recently, I used that room more often in last two weeks. One particular morning, when I was in that Third Room, I felt this strange sense of calm. Also I felt, I have been to such Third Rooms in past. Like that store room, in my grandparents' place which felt cold and haunted at times, but it had those large metal trunks, the ones that held blankets and rajais (bed quilts/duvets) and may be some secrets too. 

As a child did you ever escape into the world of your imagination while hiding in that metal trunk in the Third Room?

There was this cemented water tank on the second floor of the house I grew up in. Everyone stayed in that house - parents, brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. The space below that tank was a great way to hide from others and still enjoy the cold there in hot summers. The cold which might have frightened someone weaker than me. 

As a child did you ever think of yourself as a master strategist planning your next battle move lying on your back in a damp space of the Third Room?

The annual grains' supply for the entire joint family used to come in large gunny bags. For few days before the grains were transferred to the steel silos, the bags lied there in a corner in a bulwark formation. The evenings were really exciting. The cops chased all the robbers with their toy guns. The games we played revealed who were on the dark side.

As a child did you ever wait endlessly in the Third Room, behind a wall of gunny bags, to spring a surprise?

The Third Room is not really a physical space. It exists somewhere in our minds. As we grow up, we lock it up and forget about it. It is a place which is a great escape from our routine. It is a place to reflect upon the next move in your life. It is a place which might spring a pleasant surprise. The first two rooms are all about your family and your work. This Third Room is about you. It is time you find it and open it. The key is right there. There in your own hands.

Hide & Seek : Revelation

Few weeks back, I was having breakfast, in a restaurant, at the hotel I was staying in. I saw two kids playing hide and seek there. One of them had parked himself behind a column to hide from the seeker. I could sense the thrill of hiding and getting found out. 

I could remember my childhood days, when we also used to play the game of hide and seek, now and then. The 'hider' was very empowered, while job of the 'seeker' was at times frustrating. 

As I kept watching those kids, having a mouthful of pongal, a morbid thought crossed my mind. What if the seeker stops looking for the hider?

There would be no thrill in the game and in fact the seeker would be far more empowered. The hider would lose interest eventually and move away. It was a moment of reflection, a moment of revelation. That scene at the restaurant and the morbid thought has kept me haunted since.

Imagine a life, where you stop seeking! Won't you be more empowered? I know, it is simple to say and very difficult to practice. Also human race has progressed, because it looked for answers to its questions, sought solutions to its problems and seeks to do so even today. So can we really stop seeking?

But look around yourself. Somewhere we lost the ability to seek the right things. I feel happy one day, and down in the dumps the next. What brings about such extreme highs and lows? Are we looking for wrong things or are we looking too hard? Can we keep seeking, but stop expecting? Is it possible?

Stephen Hawking, the well renowned physicist, once said in an interview, “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus."

In this statement, he clearly differentiates between what he seeks and what he expects. His journey to unravel the universe and its mysteries has nothing to do with his expectations. Has he actualised the Geeta Saar in its most literal sense?

Another way to look at this issue is from human relationships point of view. I used to care for and do things for certain people, when they neither asked for it nor deserved it. They used this weakness of mine, without me realising it. I was like that 'seeker' who was looking for an acknowledgement. Then after a catastrophic incident few months back, when one of those beneficiaries (of my care and goodwill) questioned my motives, I realised my folly. I severed all ties from that individual, stopped seeking any acknowledgment from that person or anyone in my life like that. I have been in a happier space since then.

Don't fall in love with the idea that you are a giver. There is a supreme being who enables you to do so. Don't make idols of people who inspired you sometime in past. Everyone falls. Expect them to. Stop helping those who don't believe in hard work and learning. Those nincompoops will come back and bite you. In your butt. Stop being a seeker and feel more empowered.

But trust people. Even if you are betrayed, trust them. That's what keeps the humanity going. Keep your family and friends close. They are your ultimate support system. Seek the power to withstand all the tribulations from the inside of your mind.

'Hide and Seek' is a silly game anyways. Try 'Snakes and Ladders' instead! It always keeps you in play, despite the bites.