Are you doing it right? An insider's guide to Corporate Success.

Have you ever wondered, why are you not making any head way in your moribund career?

Have you often changed your jobs, bosses, desks, pens, work undies, and office laptops, but are still nowhere near your goals?

Then you have been doing it all wrong. Through the proprietary technique of trial and error, I believe I have found the key to Corporate Happiness. 

As a good corporate citizen, by now you would have forgotten the beauty of text and language. You would be more comfortable with infographics, numbers, visual aids and matrices. With great effort, I have tried to present my findings using visual aids. Hope you guys appreciate the effort.

Before we go on to the lessons, here are some standard disclaimers:

1. You should have a done a pre-read of "The Office Idlers"

2. Even if you don't do that, below material will still make sense to you.

3. The author doesn't claim the below information to be original, because many enlightened souls would have already discovered these nuggets by now.

4. Author's views are purely his own and they don't necessarily reflect his personal experiences or quality of the organisations he has worked with so far. The author has the capability to learn from others.

5. The author has taken the liberty of dramatising certain aspects. The author expects you to have a sense of humour.

Exhibit A: Successful Lines

This one clearly makes the case for getting graphical. That is precisely the reason for the current post to be visually rich. Hope this post gets more views.

Exhibit B: The Really Smart Worker

A 2 by 2 matrix is best way to simplify things. The objective here is to reach the green box. That is where you achieve "Corporate Nirvana."

Exhibit C: Meeting Ho Naa Ho (Who knows if meeting will happen)

Are you in a meeting right now? The you are doing the right thing by reading this post. Look at the pie-chart to know more.

Exhibit D :  Troubleshooting

They often say, "Define the problem statement sharply". Now you discover the "Why" behind it. Avoid the red box as far as possible,

Exhibit E: Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Gham (Sometimes Happy Sometimes Sad)

Your happiness is not dependent on just one thing - you. The external stimulus plays a big role too. You always knew it. I have put it in a bar graph. You can thank me later for providing you clarity in such a simple way. Right now, read on.

Exhibit F: Can you relate to it? A critical look at your relationships.

Are you in an abusive relationship with your boss? Don't make much effort. You can't do anything. Accept the status quo. See the analysis below to know more. Still if you are tired, try to move to the 'Toxic' Box'. That is the only escape.

Exhibit G: The Top Dog

When you have spent enough years working your ass off, you realise, that you didn't get the basics right. A bubble chart below, just to burst your bubble.

Exhibit H: Einstein didn't tell you this

This is a self explanatory paradox. Grab your peanuts  popcorn, sit back and relax. Everyone is in the same boat. Just remember one thing, boss is a relative term here. He / she has a boss too.

Exhibit I : Same Same But Different

Know the difference between Indian Companies and MNCs. A comprehensive tabulation is given below. Now you can make an informed choice about where to work.

Now you are well equipped with the tools to handle the vagaries of corporate world. Don't be selfish and share this blog link with your friends and make them realise the futility of what they are doing.

Till then, let me check statistical performance of my blog.

Shit! 340 visits from Russia in last 24 hours. Bot Alert! I am not Rahul Gandhi.