C : Crazy People - Part II #AtoZChallenge2020

Last year when I wrote this post titled, Crazy People - Part I, I had not imagined that this title will lend itself so well to current crazy times and will be so relevant for my Letter C post, in this April Daily Blogging Challenge. 

Let me also add another dimension to this. There are good kind of crazy people too - like the doctors who are working so hard in this lock-down trying to stem the spread of Covid19 disease , our security forces who are out there to ensure that the lock-down works, bankers and other essential services providers who are ensuring basic services are running well and above all my wife, who is putting up with my extra working hours despite the fact that I am working from home. A big thanks to all these good kind of crazy people. I am grateful that you all are there.

At the same time this post is about the other kind of crazy people - the stupid ones. The kind of crazy people I talked about in my last post on this subject. And let me warn you, there are many.

The crazy ones who thought that they won't get the virus and kept going out. Now more people are at risk of getting the disease than ever before because of their misplaced bravado. The crazy ones who tried to escape the thermal screenings at airports, by lowering their body temperature, after popping a pill. They thought they are doing the smart thing. But they just showed us, that the world doesn't need super villains like Joker. Few crazy ones are enough to cause massive destruction. And those toilet paper hoarders, let me remind you that humans are different than animals. Survival of the fittest is the law of jungle, not the human civilization. We need to be more compassionate, not loony.

Before the lock-down, I used to romanticize the 'Work from Home' or WFH concept. Now I get to see its ugly side. There are two types of crazy people here too. The ones who think that WFH is a holiday and stay disconnected most of the times. You are pressurizing the ones who really want the work to get done. Then there are the other ones - the more dangerous kind of crazy. The ones who think that WFH is same as working 24 X 7. Guys, you are worse than the headache I get during my hangovers.

Each country's government is trying to do a lot, within their respective constraints. We have every right to demand more from our governments, but it is crazy to think that we don't have any role to play. So please stay in, stay safe and don't pelt the people, who are trying to help you, with stones! Remember, when they help you, they are enabling you to help others. Choice is yours : To be a Hero or a crazy villain!

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter C

2017: Chat rooms (A funny anecdote)

2018: Conversations that influenced me

2019: Courtrooms in Hindi Films / Bollywood

Nike, Facebook & Pakistan - Interesting Books reviewed

Shoe Dog ~ A Memoir by the creator of Nike by Phil Knight is really a well written autobiography. There is no co-author or a ghost writer involved, so the emotions you go through as a reader are real and raw. Phil actually took writing classes to write this book. And that effort shows! It is one the best autobiographies / biographies I have read. Shoe Dog is not just Phil's or Nike's story. It is that too. But it goes beyond. Both inside and outside. The book delves deep inside into an entrepreneur's mind. It looks outwards towards the history of the era when Phil was building Nike. So the book doesn't just feel like an autobiography. It reads like a parable, sounds like a lore and can be understood as a metaphor for life. The book is also paced like a thriller.

As an author, Phil displays his sense of humor throughout. Especially hilarious are his accounts of some of his early colleagues and his travels to Japan and China. But there are undercurrents of his personal tragedies. Also Phil chose not to narrate much that happened after 1980. I was surprised by this choice but I understood the reasons behind it. So you won't get the story behind "Just Do It" or several such campaigns post 1980.

Phil fleshes out each character in the story of his life with love and empathy. He owns his mistakes and is painfully aware of his shortcomings. But he loves his journey.  Phil brings his struggles as a sportsperson and as an entrepreneur to the paper without inhibitions. He also talks about his relationships with his father and his sons without holding anything back.

Some of the questions which I wanted the book to answer also get answered with flourish. You get to know the story behind the name "Nike". You get the story behind its logo. You get reasons for Nike's success. But the book goes beyond the obvious. It gives insights into history of the time. It showcases how people come together and stick together despite differences. It talks about irreversible sacrifices. It defines successes and failures in a humane way.

As a marketer, one is always struggling to define the story of one's brand, its spirit and purpose. This memoir does it so well for Nike. There are several books that have inspired me in the past - with a new idea or with a better perspective on things. But this  book inspired me in a different way. It made me feel for Nike. I felt like working for Nike, especially during its early years. The years when I wasn't even born. And that's a great achievement for a book. 

the Facebook effect by David Kirkpatrick is a book which I have read few years late. The book was published in 2010 and it chronicles the early years of Facebook. By now, we all know the basic beats of Facebook story and its early milestones, through the folklore and the movie 'The Social Network'. Also in 9 years since then, Facebook has become a very different animal, with lesser personal connections active on it. It has since then made a journey from being cool to somewhat evil. I would personally love to read a sequel to this book to know what changed and also understand Mark Zuckerberg's opinion on Cambridge Analytica data breach.

Coming back to this book, I was surprised to notice few grammar as well as spelling errors. Otherwise, the book is pretty fast paced. The book provides a balanced view on Facebook's highs and lows. Unlike Videocracy by Kevin Allocca, a book about YouTube, which I reviewed earlier this year, this book looks into issues like antitrust, privacy, data ownership and ethics in a far more incisive way.

Also, I liked the portions, where we got to know about the logic behind every change and feature on Facebook. These portions make the book an interesting read from change management and product development point of view.

But if there is a more recent book on Facebook, which is equally well written, I suggest you can give this one a miss. 

Tinderbox ~ The Past and Future of Pakistan by M.J. Akbar, presents a very interesting slice of world history of Indian sub-continent, especially chronicling the circumstances around formation of Pakistan. It delves deep into epic conflict between Hindu and Muslim cultures and its impact on the entire region. 

It is a tough book to read, because it spans across centuries, and too much is happening. There are way too many characters and sub-plots. In fact each chapter in this book can become a source for a new book. So don't feel too overwhelmed while reading it, if you are able to connect key threads of this narrative.  By the time I finished the book, I forgot many specifics - names, dates etc. But overarching themes and patterns emerged. 

1. If religious identity overpowers regional or national identity, there will always be strife. Pakistan will never be at peace given the circumstances of its birth. Also my limited understanding, that democracy can bring change,  was questioned throughout the book. 

2. Another interesting aspect on which author spends a lot of time is wherein he explains how Pakistan governments have been distorting history that is taught in their schools. He explains, how school children are conditioned right from the childhood to consider India as its enemy. He goes further to explain how plunderers from pre-independent India are treated as heroes because of their religious identity. But as I read chapters on Indian freedom struggle in the book, especially about Gandhi's failures, I realized how our history books were also whitewashed. I learned how Mahatma was more of a politically useful religious moniker than a testimony to Gandhi's greatness. So while Pakistan's history is a hogwash, ours is also pretty much whitewashed in school books. 

3. How Pakistan played world's superpowers using its geo-political advantage is also a recurring theme in the book. 

And the questions which were left in my mind by the time I finished reading this book were - Has Pakistan played all its cards? Are we on a path to nuclear catastrophe?

I needed few lighter books after this. 

Crazy People - Part I

Let me be upfront here. I don't know why I have titled the post like this. I don't have any idea whether there would be a Part II or Part III. I am not even sure, what I am going to write about in this post. I just like the phrase, "Crazy People". May be I am crazy to think that I can write multiple posts with the same title. May be I am not only crazy, but also lazy. Too lazy to think of new post titles! 

But let me assure you that when these two words - crazy & people - come together in my mind, the images that take shape in front of my eyes are really amusing. You guys are unlucky, because my words would never be effective enough to explain those images. 

Duck! Run for cover! Phew! 

Let me still try to explain. 

I just imagined a crazy person (Let us call him Mr. C) who sent me a calendar request without checking my calendar. Basics! You muttered under your breath? But Mr. Crazy is too big for his boots to do such mundane tasks. I am sure you have a Mr. C in your life too. Can you imagine his face? And can you imagine those word clouds, filled with the choicest of cuss words, that accompany the face you imagined? 

I hope now you understand what I am getting at!

That reminds me of yet another crazy person, I know. Five of us were at a restaurant last week, with a crazy dinner & drinks package. In Rs. 1100, one could get unlimited beer, unlimited snacks served on the table and buffet dinner to top it. I kept wondering, which crazy person would design such a loss making package for his or her restaurant. But then I saw this crazy person in our group pouring draft beer in a soda bottle, to carry home. Now who does that! Especially when someone serves you unlimited beer! Is the world really coming to an end?

Humans are naive. They don't understand complex things. They want everything to be spoon-fed. They aren't comfortable with choices. They want everything to be in black or white. (Except this crazy girl I know who can tell the difference between "purple" and "mauve" colors. She must be an alien).

Lot of crazy people don't understand the difference between correlation and causal relationship. They don't even understand the concept of multiple variables leading to an outcome. Like all BJP (ruling political party in India) acolytes think Congress (losing political party of India) lost recent elections because Rahul Gandhi (who was the president of Congress till few weeks ago) is a dumb or a crazy person. They don't realize that there are several other variables at play. Maybe Congress party has no strong cadre at grass-root levels. Similarly, all the losers think that BJP won, because almost everybody who voted for BJP has xenophobic tendencies. They might have totally ignored, populist measures taken by BJP for rural and economically less privileged Indians. I am not indicating here that one factor is more important than the other. There might have been several factors at play. But is it crazy on my part to expect nuance in political debates?

A movie critic doesn't want me to watch Salman Khan films because he has done few bad things in real life, though his on-screen characters are generally too nice to be true. The same critic doesn't want me to watch the latest Shahid Kapoor film, because he plays a really bad and toxic guy on screen. And the ADULTS who went to watch the film, might get influenced by this character. This is despite the fact that Kapoor is considered one of the nicest human beings in the film industry. Typical, family man! This critic also found a violent female character in Gully Boy, spunky. Not toxic! Spunky! Clearly consistency is not the trait of crazy people!

A crazy thought just crossed my mind! I have more to say about the craziness in this world. There will be a Part II. 

Fun things that never happen to me...

I have been meaning to write something meaningful for last few days. But I was not able to work around my thoughts in a coherent manner. The meaningful thoughts, I mean. The thoughts that have a definite sense of purpose. I had almost decided to write about 'Corporate Etiquette'. But I didn't want to offend anyone. At least in July. I also was thinking about 'Life Goals' as a great topic for a blog post. But I can't write about something, I have a poor idea about. After all this struggle, I have succumbed to a click-bait title for my post. 'Fun things that never happen to me...'

But let me confess that I have no idea why I got attracted to this post title. I have really not much to say on this. I am not even sure if your idea of 'fun things', is same as my idea of 'fun things'. I am almost certain you didn't find the previous sentence fun. But I did! Hope you find things I am going to write about in next few paragraphs fun. I can assure you they never happen to me, keeping my side of the deal.

People around me are just losing weight by willing for it to happen. On the other hand, I am constantly being advised by my well-wishers (read total strangers) to join a group of runners or adopt the caveman diet. Do they realize that cavemen never had to sit in office late, scrolling through large datasheets?

My friends regularly post their encounters with celebrities on social media. Ok! Not regularly, but fairly consistently! When I used to stay in Mumbai, I often frequented the places, which are known for celebrity appearances. But I never saw or met any film actor worth his or her salt. I once attended an event in Delhi, where Boman Irani and Shahrukh Khan were on stage. But that doesn't count. Also if I pay for tickets to attend a play or a concert, that is not really an encounter. Once when we saw Govinda at Singapore airport, everyone ambushed him and I got cropped out of a probable memorable picture. I can still see my half desperate face in the one that actually got clicked. Once we were at Shoppers Stop, Juhu. My wife and my mother-in-law were the ones actually shopping. I spotted an obese man in a pink T-Shirt and brown shorts. He had a shabby stubble and uncombed hair. And wearing man-sandals. David Dhawan, the director of several hit Govinda films, was standing right in front of me performing a non-celebrity chore. My mother-in-law was enamored. He is not really the kind of celebrity, my friends post about on social media. Neither is Paresh Rawal, whom I spotted drinking at OnToes, Juhu once. Or Manoj Joshi who was eating a Vada Pav outside my college. Or Aftab Shivdasani, who was standing alone under a dark tree, in the night, waiting for someone outside a multiplex. Do my friends realize that when they put their pictures with a popular hot actress on facebook, I feel like killing them?

I always put a lot of thought when it comes to gifting someone. Sadly, I rarely receive gifts. People just have this special ability to forget me on my birthday or anniversary. But, whenever I receive a gift, I find it funny, that people know so little about me. I must have received 3-5 dinner sets over last few years. People bring sad souvenirs for me from their travels abroad or over-sized shirts from discount stores. Why I never get things I love? Just putting it out through this forum, that I like Liquor Bottles, Holiday Vouchers, Good Books, Music, Movies and Eating out. And if you are the cheap one and still want to be thoughtful, share your Amazon Prime Video password with me.

Lots of people value their work-life balance. I know this guy, who switches off his phone when he is on leave. There is no way you can reach out to him. It is a good thing actually. But he is such a brute, that he always finds it fine to call you late in the night or message you on a Sunday. Ironically, he works in Human Resources function. Once a girl, reached out to me on facebook for office work. I was on a holiday abroad and was unable to check my phone for few hours, so she found this route perfectly fine. She left her job few months later citing work-life balance issues. I envy both these people. 

I am sure there are many other fun things that never happen to me, but there is one funny thing, which happens to me every year once. My pay hike. Peanuts!

Are you doing it right? An insider's guide to Corporate Success.

Have you ever wondered, why are you not making any head way in your moribund career?

Have you often changed your jobs, bosses, desks, pens, work undies, and office laptops, but are still nowhere near your goals?

Then you have been doing it all wrong. Through the proprietary technique of trial and error, I believe I have found the key to Corporate Happiness. 

As a good corporate citizen, by now you would have forgotten the beauty of text and language. You would be more comfortable with infographics, numbers, visual aids and matrices. With great effort, I have tried to present my findings using visual aids. Hope you guys appreciate the effort.

Before we go on to the lessons, here are some standard disclaimers:

1. You should have a done a pre-read of "The Office Idlers"

2. Even if you don't do that, below material will still make sense to you.

3. The author doesn't claim the below information to be original, because many enlightened souls would have already discovered these nuggets by now.

4. Author's views are purely his own and they don't necessarily reflect his personal experiences or quality of the organisations he has worked with so far. The author has the capability to learn from others.

5. The author has taken the liberty of dramatising certain aspects. The author expects you to have a sense of humour.

Exhibit A: Successful Lines

This one clearly makes the case for getting graphical. That is precisely the reason for the current post to be visually rich. Hope this post gets more views.

Exhibit B: The Really Smart Worker

A 2 by 2 matrix is best way to simplify things. The objective here is to reach the green box. That is where you achieve "Corporate Nirvana."

Exhibit C: Meeting Ho Naa Ho (Who knows if meeting will happen)

Are you in a meeting right now? The you are doing the right thing by reading this post. Look at the pie-chart to know more.

Exhibit D :  Troubleshooting

They often say, "Define the problem statement sharply". Now you discover the "Why" behind it. Avoid the red box as far as possible,

Exhibit E: Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Gham (Sometimes Happy Sometimes Sad)

Your happiness is not dependent on just one thing - you. The external stimulus plays a big role too. You always knew it. I have put it in a bar graph. You can thank me later for providing you clarity in such a simple way. Right now, read on.

Exhibit F: Can you relate to it? A critical look at your relationships.

Are you in an abusive relationship with your boss? Don't make much effort. You can't do anything. Accept the status quo. See the analysis below to know more. Still if you are tired, try to move to the 'Toxic' Box'. That is the only escape.

Exhibit G: The Top Dog

When you have spent enough years working your ass off, you realise, that you didn't get the basics right. A bubble chart below, just to burst your bubble.

Exhibit H: Einstein didn't tell you this

This is a self explanatory paradox. Grab your peanuts  popcorn, sit back and relax. Everyone is in the same boat. Just remember one thing, boss is a relative term here. He / she has a boss too.

Exhibit I : Same Same But Different

Know the difference between Indian Companies and MNCs. A comprehensive tabulation is given below. Now you can make an informed choice about where to work.

Now you are well equipped with the tools to handle the vagaries of corporate world. Don't be selfish and share this blog link with your friends and make them realise the futility of what they are doing.

Till then, let me check statistical performance of my blog.

Shit! 340 visits from Russia in last 24 hours. Bot Alert! I am not Rahul Gandhi.