Tuesday, April 03, 2018

C : Conversations that influenced me #AtoZchallenge


"Everybody talks, but there is no conversation." - Dejan Stojanovic 

Despite the cacophony all around us, there are those rare moments, once in a while, when we have really meaningful conversations. Conversations, that influence us. Conversations, that we can recall vividly, even after years. 

There are very few people, among the many we meet over our lifetime, with whom we connect in truest sense. That connection may not last a lifetime or in some cases it might. But that moment, that conversation, remains etched in our mind. There can be multiple reasons for the same. A conversation might lead us to take an important decision. It might help us look at something from a different perspective, altering our world view. The conversation may have cemented a bond. Or simply, it might lead to an introspection. I can count such conversations in my life on fingertips. 

Also it is possible that some conversations I had in past, were perceived as meaningful by the person(s) I was conversing with, because they got something out of it. I may be not even aware of that.

Through this post, I have tried to reproduce the gist of some of those conversations which have influenced me one way or the other.

1. Mom Knows the best : I used to write a diary when in 7th or 8th standard. Despite all my efforts of anyone not knowing about it, my mom found it one day. And she read it and discovered, to her horror, that her son's thoughts were too wayward (putting it mildly). She immediately summoned me and had a conversation with me, which instilled in me a fear (of a sound thrashing too) that I never wrote a diary again for years. I think that conversation helped me understand my thought process and my limitations better. In hindsight, I can say, it helped me focus better in life and how to be more careful, when it comes to hiding things from my parents ;-)

2. Love for Science and Mathematics: Last year, I had dedicated a post to one of my favorite teachers (Usha Madam). There are few other teachers whom I admire a lot. Anupinder Sir is one of them. He used to stay very near to our house. And I started taking home-tuition from him for Mathematics and Science. His style of teaching was very interactive and he is one of the major reasons, I took up non-medical studies later in life. He used to follow a different sect of our religion. Once in a while, we used to have spirited conversations on religion and deadly sins. His ability to not treat me as a child, but as an adult, gave me a lot of confidence.

3. Down in the dumps : On a particular day, during 2006-07, I was surrounded by friends and everything was pleasant on the surface, but deep inside there was a pain. Pain of a failure, shattering of dreams, unknown to many. SA noticed that and asked about my well being. I went to my empty apartment after that, about to get into a dark space, when I received a call from SA to check on me. I think that saved me. As I recall the incident today, I can surely say, my pain and sadness were for futile reasons.

4. Coffee Shop Conversations: Normally, the coffee shop conversations are too shallow. They exist to fill the the empty space and time. But that one conversation in Cafe Coffee Day, Ludhiana with IC (extremely reticent) who shared with me a common taste in music, was different. We had met almost a decade after school. I vaguely remember the things we discussed that day. At some point of time, our discussion veered to a point, where I was told about the exact color of my eyes. It may sound funny, but I never knew it. One interaction, if done by being fully there, both in body and mind, can forge bonds of life-time. Now whenever I meet someone, I try to be there, mentally as well.

5. Work Meeting: It was a Friday evening on a slow day in office (don't remember the day or year). KG had been following up with me since weeks, for a meeting to evaluate the proposals for our media spends. Normally such vendor meetings get over in 30 minutes or so. But as we started discussing a particular concept, some common interests emerged. We discussed passionately about things we believe in outside our professional lives as well. Sometime during the discussion, I had realized that KG is a great listener and floodgates opened. I try to emulate this listening ability even today.

As I write, I recall a few more sober as well as meaningful conversations. I am tempted to continue.  But I don't think I am yet ready to reveal everything, everything that is exceedingly personal.

Also there is no point in elaborating on the conversations I had with some of my best friends over umpteen booze sessions. Those deserve another post altogether. In fact, I had mentioned few of those in a post titled Instant.

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My last year's challenge post from letter C was a funny anecdote about Chat rooms. Read it here.

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is all about writing stories, anecdotes and observations from my life in form of easy to read listicles. You can read the theme reveal post here



20 comments:

minalbhate said...

So true...we may b talking with people all day long but how do we really absorb??? Very well written

Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks minal

Elsie Amata said...

I think we have the ability to make an impact in people's lives with our words each and every day and sometimes in the most unexpected ways.

Elsie

Karen O'Connor said...

Truly memorable conversations really do stay with you. I think part of the reason it is hard to achieve is that there is often more talking than listening. I know I am guilty of it myself. I have to make a conscious effort to be better at active listening and focus on the conversation. Weekends In Maine

Charan Deep Singh said...

So true Elsie...

Charan Deep Singh said...

I am happy you found something useful in the blog

Anonymous said...

Your style is really unique in comparison to other
folks I've read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you have
the opportunity, Guess I'll just book mark this web site.

Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks Anon.

Shirley Corder said...

Well said. There are a number of conversations that are still with me many years after the event, yet many even more recent ones that people refer to of which I have no recall. Clearly some just make a much deeper impact in our lives than others! Stopping by from the #AtoZChallenge Road Trip! Loving my Fitbit

Shirley Corder said...

Well written and so true. We need to learn to really listen as well as speak words that will make a difference in someone's life. Fitbit, my road to a healthier life and mind. Stopping by from the #AtoZChallenge Road Trip!

retirementreflections said...

I'm stopping by from the #AtoZChallenge Road Trip. I greatly enjoyed this post. It made me think. It's true that our words and conversations have the power to deeply affect others. Your examples reminded me of a few conversations that have had lasting impact on me as well!

JEN Garrett said...

It's interesting how some conversations can really influence us... but often the conversations I recall most are those where I said the wrong things or didn't say enough - at least I think so. I go over and over what I said in those conversations and think, "why didn't I say more?"

JEN Garrett said...

I can't tell if my last comment took, but I forgot to say Stopping by on the #AtoZChallenge Road Trip. That's what I mean - so often I over and over what I could have said in a conversation and wonder why I didn't.

Charan Deep Singh said...

@JEN - I totally empathise with what you mean. Thanks for stopping by.

Charan Deep Singh said...

@retirementreflections - sorry couldn't find your name. Thanks for stopping by. I am pleased that my blog brought some memories back for you.

Charan Deep Singh said...

So true @Shirley. Conversations can make an impact if both parties are deeply invested.

Ronel Janse van Vuuren said...

Some conversations can have a lasting effect... even if the other party doesn't always remember it ;-)

Ronel from Ronel the Mythmaker A-Z road-tripping with Everything Writerly: C is for Clarion Call

Charan Deep Singh said...

True Ronel. Thanks for stopping by.

Heather Erickson said...

I really enjoyed this post. It made me think about the conversations that have made a difference in my like. It's quite amazing to consider the power of words, put together and spoken at the right moment, they can have a lasting impact. I am here from the A to Z Road Trip. Have a great week!

Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks for your kind words Heather