Friday, April 20, 2018

R : Recycle Bin #AtoZchallenge

Memories are strange. The ones you want to remember have a tendency to fade into oblivion. Like the footprints on the sand.  And the ones you want to forget tend to stick forever. Like that irritating gum on the sole of your shoes. 

I often wonder, if there was a recycle bin, where you can trash your bad memories, and forget them forever; what would be those bad memories. Then almost like a snake, a poisonous thought rears its ugly head. If you don't remember your bad memories, would you still remain the same person as you are? Wouldn't you be incomplete? After all, what is a life without regrets.

Also if I am going to list those memories down today, won't they be recorded for ever outside my brain? Wouldn't that be self defeating? So should I really write them down? 

I realize the best way to deal with this dilemma which I find myself in, is to list categories of bad memories or experiences which I generally would like to put in a recycle bin, without getting into specifics. 

Bad Words
There have been times, when inadvertently or deliberately, I have said something offensive or hurtful to people in past. While mostly the cause would be lack of judgement on my part but these moments spoil relationships. Apologizing to the aggrieved person(s) helps in such situations and people move on also. But, I wish I could forget those moments as they bother me. There is always a tinge of regret that I did say those things.

They are tricky. They are painful. The stronger the relationship, the more vicious the breakup and thus more awful the memories related to it are. I have had a few break-ups. But the one that hurts me the most is the the one where nothing was said. (In others, there was anger involved, followed by dejection and eventually acceptance. They completed their antibiotic course) But this one is incomplete. It is like that the third act was never written in this love story. Sometimes words, even bad ones, serve a purpose. They take away the anger.  I wish I could put this break-up with her in a recycle bin.

Decision Inertia
There have been instances in my life, where I was at cross-roads. I had to take decisions. Generally, I am very decisive, especially at work-place. But there were moments, where I chose to stay at the crossroads a little longer. This is a dangerous place to be in. When you don't decide for yourself, you relinquish the control of your life. You let others decide for you.  Never let that happen to you. Take control of your decisions. There was this one man, whom I allowed to take some decisions for me. I have been happier since I took charge. But I can't bring back the time I lost wallowing in self-pity. I wish I could delete that man's decisions.

There are people you come across in your life, whose only purpose is to teach you a lesson. They are people who held you back. They are people whom you put your trust in, but they never deserved it. In a parasitic relationship, you allow these leeches to sap your energy, time and creative juices. Investing time in symbiotic relationships is far more important. Take control of your time by pushing the leeches and sadness out of your life. Only place these leeches belong to is the recycle bin of your life.

Till the time, scientists develop such a recycle bin or make it affordable for people like me, I can't wish away these memories or experiences. Like good memories and experiences, the bad ones, also make me, what I am today. So I accept the mistakes I made and forget the ones others made. I decide to move on today, everyday. 

My last year's challenge post from letter R was about me getting Robbed. Read it here.

My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is all about writing stories, anecdotes and observations from my life in form of easy to read listicles. You can read the theme reveal post here.


Roland Clarke said...

Memories make us. Recycling them might work if they evolved into something residually revealing, even rare. Flushing them away is a fail.


Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks for adding a dimension to my thoughts Roland. I think in my post I have explored the idea of 'memories make us' as well

shirley dietz said...

That was a very interesting "listicle" (I really like that word too). I have always sort of embraced my bad moments for the reason that they have taught me valuable things for "next time". If they ended up in the recycle bin, I might be destined to repeat them, having forgotten the lesson as well as the bad moment. And you are right - they all add up to make us the people we are.

Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks Shirley. Yes listicles is my overarching narrative structure theme in this year's challenge. Hope you enjoyed reading other posts too.

Harvest Moon by Hand said...

I like the idea of having a recycle bin for some memories that are ones that would be good to let go. Focusing more on the positive memories in my life seems to crowd out the less desirable ones.


Charan Deep Singh said...

Ann, thanks for sharing your views. You have put it very beautifully.