P : Pillow Talk #AtoZChallenge2020

Pillow Talk - A Short Fictional Story

Pari was in quarantine. It was her seventh day in isolation, or was it the tenth! She had no idea of the time. Loneliness can be a strange animal. For the first few days it was her pet, domesticated, acting on her whims. But as the days passed, the animal took over. 

With sunlight fading outside her window, she surely knew it was going to be night soon. But she had lost count of the days since she was in this room. She remembered, returning from her first ever solo Europe trip, with happy memories. She had partied there a lot. As if she was trying to run away from some hard reality. When she got screened at the airport, she had fever. She was immediately brought to this government facility, where she was kept in a room with spartan amenities. All her belongings were kept in a safe and she was given a fresh pair of clothes. Her interactions were limited to the visits by doctors and nurses. Food was served regularly. What she got to eat everyday, also gave her a fair idea about the time of the day. Idlis in breakfast. Dal Rice in Lunch. Light Soup in night. She had lost her appetite by the fourth day and her fever was still high.  She had never been this alone before. Long hours without talking to anyone, and being so sick from inside was totally new. She thought it was her seventh day in isolation, or was it the tenth! She had no idea of the time. For first four days, she had a lot to think about.

Her recent Europe trip ... Meeting Shawn there and a promising date with him... getting drunk on the cruise...

Her office... Colleagues... her promotion... those long nights at work... excitement around the launch...

Her first toy... Her parents' happy marriage... Her first scooter...

Her school... her friends... her break-up...

Her breakup... her marriage... her divorce... 

As the days passed, her memories became darker. She wallowed in self-pity. It was her seventh day in isolation, or was it the tenth, or was it the fourth night! She wasn't sure. She had no idea of the time. She dug her face in her pillow. And that moment was the most comforting for her in days. She was sure that the pillow was talking to her. She wasn't hallucinating. She was sure about this as some one was pulling her inside the pillow. She felt a cold, comforting breeze, on her face. It wasn't the effect of medication. She was sure. 

The pillow hugged her. It was the hug of a mother at times! And the hug of a lover at other times! But it was always comforting. She wasn't thinking of anything when the pillow used to hug her. No memories of the past. No plans for the future. No escape from the present, or from her hard reality. When the pillow talked, she was just there. There in the present. The pillow told her things. Things she didn't fully understand, but things that surely made sense. 

The pillow told her stories, which she had always known. Stories of people with fulfilling lives, happy lives. The pillow had a strange habit of using catchphrases.

Carpe Diem,  it shouted one day.

Yesterday is gone, it told the other day.

The pillow made her loneliness bearable. Loneliness was now not an animal to be domesticated. But it wasn't in control of her either. Her fever had vanished one morning! Doctors told her that she has fully recovered now and the disease is gone. They informed her that she had been there for 23 days. After discharge, as she was returning home, she knew her disease was gone. Disease of the body! And the disease of the mind! 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter P

2017: Perfect Response

2018: Pots in Restaurant Toilets

2019: Parallel Comedy Tracks in Hindi Films / Bollywood

P : Parallel Comedy Tracks in Hindi Films / Bollywood #AtoZChallenge 2019

There was a time in Hindi Films, when heroes were serious. Always. They used to fight, love, cry and run around trees singing songs. But they didn't do comedy. That was the time, when in a Hindi film two stories used to run in parallel. The main story about the hero and the heroine along with a parallel track of a lead comedian to act as fillers. This trend was at its height in the times of Mehmood. He became such a huge star due to his comedy, that many people used to flock to cinema halls to see him in the movie and not the hero. From a film called Pyar Kiye Jaa (Carry on Loving), where Kishore Kumar and Shashi Kapoor play the leads, you might just remember the following scene featuring Mehmood and nothing else. 

As the length of the films came down over the years and Amitabh Bachchan (in my memory) started doing comedy himself in early 80s (remember that bhaang scene from the film Mard), the parallel comedy tracks started vanishing. Light films and comedy films started ruling the roost with director David Dhawan and actor Govinda at the forefront of this movement in 90s. This made comedians redundant. For a brief time Johnny Lever resisted this change. That was more because of his immense talent. The industry itself didn't need comedians any more. Remember his parallel comedy track in Baazigar. It was a thriller where the leads had no scope for comedy. So a parallel track of a forgetful Baabulal, played by Lever was an integral part of the film to provide comic relief. Though this track had nothing to do with the main plot. Watch one of many such scenes below.

Just few facts to put things in context:

• Filmfare Awards started in 1954
• Awards for the best comedian category started in 1967 and the first winner was Mehmood for Pyar Kiye Jaa. He was nominee in this category 19 times and won it 4 times. 
• Johnny Lever won the award in this category twice in 1998 and 1999. He was nominee in this category 13 times. He was nominated in this category for Baazigar too in 1994
• From 2000 to 2007 the award winners in best comedian category became more mainstream, with main leads winning in this category
• Award in this category hasn't been given out since 2007

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Hindi Film Industry / Bollywood cliches. You can read the theme reveal post here.

2017 Challenge Post from Letter P: Perfect Response - A post about responses that are sharp and just right. Click here to read.  

2018 Challenge Post from Letter P: Pots in Restaurant Toilets - A detailed analysis on the subject and identification of 4 types. Click here to read.

P : Pots in Restaurant Toilets #AtoZchallenge

How do you decide whether to visit a restaurant again or not? Going by Zomato reviews, some of the common factors (in no particular order) that will make you do that are:

• Quality & Taste of Food
• Ambience of the Place
• Courteous Staff
• Range of Dishes
• Experimentation / Fusion / New Dishes
• Overall Cleanliness
• Beverages / Presence or Absence of a Bar
• Seating Comfort
• Kids Area / Play Area / Choice of Music 
• Cuisine
• Cost
• Type of Customers

All these factors are important, no doubt. But I have one more criterion - the cleanliness, upkeep and hygiene of restaurant toilets. I have often given lower ratings to restaurants, in my Zomato reviews,  because of their stinky toilets or lack of amenities in them. The people who drink beer spend quite sometime in these toilets. They make multiple trips over the course of the evening. The quality of restaurant toilets is a strong indicator of overall hygiene in a a restaurant.

After a thorough research in this subject, I have reached a conclusion that in India there are four kinds of restaurant toilets. Here are quick results for your perusal. (It is not a laughing matter)

Type 1 - The Posh Pot

Hygiene Level - 5/5
Nose Contortion Status - No Contortion
Time Spent Inside - More than required

Description: This toilet is as clean as the restaurant. There are large wall to wall mirrors in which you can admire yourself. Or you can look down on the floor which will be as shiny and reflective as the mirror. There is normally an attendant, who is cleaning everything - basins, urinal stalls and Western Pots (closets) - all the time. There are soap dispensers, dry towels, wet tissues, trash-bins, hand dryers, hand sanitizers, a chair to sit on so that you can finish your drink, a coke vending machine and a bed... Sorry I just got carried away. Ignore the items in italics. And yes, there is symmetry in these toilets - all stalls of urinals, stalls of Western-style pots (closets) and wash basins are at right angles. And the throne - the pot - is squeaky clean. You can touch everything in this Posh Pot toilet, without worrying about any disease.

Normally fine dining restaurants, like Yauatcha, will have these kind of Posh Pot toilets.


Type 2 - #Metoo Pot

Hygiene Level - 4/5
Nose Contortion Status - Slight twitch when you are normal. If you are 5 beers down - no contortion
Time Spent Inside - Depends on amount of piss, time spent on washing hands and looking at yourself in the mirror

Description: This is the step-brother of the Posh Pot toilet. There is one urinal, one western-style pot, and one wash basin somehow put together in a 4 by 4 feet cubicle. You will constantly worry about the toilet plume here. The urinal is self cleaning and the pot has a working flush. In some cases urinal is missing and the #Metoo Pot has to serve both purposes. There is a soap dispenser and tissues available here. But you don't want to take a risk so you use tissue paper to touch everything. If tissue paper is not there, never press the flush button. Let the next patron do that. I know it is kind of embarrassing if someone sees you coming out. But life before dignity is the mantra here.

Normally, mid-level restaurants like Pop Tates, will have these kind of #Metoo Pot toilets.

Type 3 - Leaky Flush Valve Pot (LFV Pot)

Hygiene Level - 3/5
Nose Contortion Status - Visibly there
Time Spent Inside - Go inside. Piss. Rush out.

Description: These ones are mostly like #Metoo Pot toilets with some differences. A separate urinal is definitely missing. There is only one western-style pot and a wash basin. Tissues may or may not be there. Soap is essentially missing. If you are lucky, there will be water in the wash basin faucet. But there is one major improvement over #Metoo Pot toilets. They deliberately keep the flush valve leaky, so that water constantly keeps dripping into the pot and carries the liquid waste away. So you don't need to flush and touch many things. The disadvantages are that LFV Pot toilets are normally wet and slippery and you can't really take a crap there.

Normally, Cafe Coffee Day outlets in Mumbai will have these kind of LFV Pot toilets.

Type 4 - #Standout Pot

Hygiene Level - 1/5

Nose Contortion Status - You tie a handkerchief over your nose

Time Spent Inside - You stand outside the door and aim at the pot

Description: Difficult to describe as I have never been inside any of them. You can find the way to these toilets even with closed eyes. Just follow the stink. Everything would be overflowing and stained in this toilet. You should only use these if there is no other way out. In case of emergencies, just stand outside it and do your job. Don't bother touching anything. There is no need to flush. It is not there. There is a bucket and a mug. I am sure mold grows inside it. 

Normally, this happens when you decide to drink beer at a run-down bar so that so you can save some money.

I hope now you are better equipped for your next beer run. You can thank me in the comments section. 🤣

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My last year's challenge post from letter P was about an incident that highlighted the importance of a  Perfect Response. Read it here.

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is all about writing stories, anecdotes and observations from my life in form of easy to read listicles. You can read the theme reveal post here.

P : Perfect Response

There are times in life, when saying a lot means nothing. And then there are occasions, when a right combination of words or for that matter a single word said in the right context, can leave a lasting impact.

A tough situation emerges at your work place and your boss tells in the team meeting that he trusts you to do it. It does a lot of good for your confidence.

When a lover makes a grave mistake, but calls his / her partner and says a heartfelt sorry, the pain, the hurt just evaporates. There is no need for explanations. Sometimes even words are not required. A warm hug is the perfect response.

You haven't talked to a friend for ages. And you conclude that things will never be the same again. After months, she calls you and says a hello in her trademark way. What happens? It seems that you never stopped talking over the months of silence.

A perfect response doesn't require much if your heart is in the right place and you don't have any malicious intent. 

VG used to report to me. I had a boss who insisted on being called by his first name. But VG would always address him as Sir. He was not able to adjust to this first name culture. After months of failure to convert VG into a non-Sir calling junior, one day VG and my boss, perchance were travelling in the same car. 

My boss asked VG, "Why do you keep calling me Sir? Had we met in a non-office setup then what would you have called me?" 

VG replied, "Uncle"."

You can imagine the silence in the car thereafter. The subject of calling people by their first names was never broached again.