Wednesday, April 18, 2018

P : Pots in Restaurant Toilets #AtoZchallenge

How do you decide whether to visit a restaurant again or not? Going by Zomato reviews, some of the common factors (in no particular order) that will make you do that are:
  • Quality & Taste of Food
  • Ambience of the Place
  • Courteous Staff
  • Range of Dishes
  • Experimentation / Fusion / New Dishes
  • Overall Cleanliness
  • Beverages / Presence or Absence of a Bar
  • Seating Comfort
  • Kids Area / Play Area / Choice of Music 
  • Cuisine
  • Cost
  • Type of Customers
All these factors are important, no doubt. But I have one more criterion - the cleanliness, upkeep and hygiene of restaurant toilets. I have often given lower ratings to restaurants, in my Zomato reviews,  because of their stinky toilets or lack of amenities in them. The people who drink beer spend quite sometime in these toilets. They make multiple trips over the course of the evening. The quality of restaurant toilets is a strong indicator of overall hygiene in a a restaurant.


After a thorough research in this subject, I have reached a conclusion that in India there are four kinds of restaurant toilets. Here are quick results for your perusal. (It is not a laughing matter)

Type 1 - The Posh Pot

Hygiene Level - 5/5
Nose Contortion Status - No Contortion
Time Spent Inside - More than required

Description: This toilet is as clean as the restaurant. There are large wall to wall mirrors in which you can admire yourself. Or you can look down on the floor which will be as shiny and reflective as the mirror. There is normally an attendant, who is cleaning everything - basins, urinal stalls and Western Pots (closets) - all the time. There are soap dispensers, dry towels, wet tissues, trash-bins, hand dryers, hand sanitizers, a chair to sit on so that you can finish your drink, a coke vending machine and a bed... Sorry I just got carried away. Ignore the items in italics. And yes, there is symmetry in these toilets - all stalls of urinals, stalls of Western-style pots (closets) and wash basins are at right angles. And the throne - the pot - is squeaky clean. You can touch everything in this Posh Pot toilet, without worrying about any disease.

Normally fine dining restaurants, like Yauatcha, will have these kind of Posh Pot toilets.


Type 2 - #Metoo Pot

Hygiene Level - 4/5
Nose Contortion Status - Slight twitch when you are normal. If you are 5 beers down - no contortion
Time Spent Inside - Depends on amount of piss, time spent on washing hands and looking at yourself in the mirror

Description: This is the step-brother of the Posh Pot toilet. There is one urinal, one western-style pot, and one wash basin somehow put together in a 4 by 4 feet cubicle. You will constantly worry about the toilet plume here. The urinal is self cleaning and the pot has a working flush. In some cases urinal is missing and the #Metoo Pot has to serve both purposes. There is a soap dispenser and tissues available here. But you don't want to take a risk so you use tissue paper to touch everything. If tissue paper is not there, never press the flush button. Let the next patron do that. I know it is kind of embarrassing if someone sees you coming out. But life before dignity is the mantra here.

Normally, mid-level restaurants like Pop Tates, will have these kind of #Metoo Pot toilets.

Type 3 - Leaky Flush Valve Pot (LFV Pot)

Hygiene Level - 3/5
Nose Contortion Status - Visibly there
Time Spent Inside - Go inside. Piss. Rush out.

Description: These ones are mostly like #Metoo Pot toilets with some differences. A separate urinal is definitely missing. There is only one western-style pot and a wash basin. Tissues may or may not be there. Soap is essentially missing. If you are lucky, there will be water in the wash basin faucet. But there is one major improvement over #Metoo Pot toilets. They deliberately keep the flush valve leaky, so that water constantly keeps dripping into the pot and carries the liquid waste away. So you don't need to flush and touch many things. The disadvantages are that LFV Pot toilets are normally wet and slippery and you can't really take a crap there.

Normally, Cafe Coffee Day outlets in Mumbai will have these kind of LFV Pot toilets.



Type 4 - #Standout Pot

Hygiene Level - 1/5
Nose Contortion Status - You tie a handkerchief over your nose
Time Spent Inside - You stand outside the door and aim at the pot

Description: Difficult to describe as I have never been inside any of them. You can find the way to these toilets even with closed eyes. Just follow the stink. Everything would be overflowing and stained in this toilet. You should only use these if there is no other way out. In case of emergencies, just stand outside it and do your job. Don't bother touching anything. There is no need to flush. It is not there. There is a bucket and a mug. I am sure mold grows inside it. 

Normally, this happens when you decide to drink beer at a run-down bar so that so you can save some money.

I hope now you are better equipped for your next beer run. You can thank me in the comments section. 🤣


---
My last year's challenge post from letter P was about an incident that highlighted the importance of a  Perfect Response. Read it here.

---
My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is all about writing stories, anecdotes and observations from my life in form of easy to read listicles. You can read the theme reveal post here.



7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. I cannot stop laughing. It's true. In my case, I first check weather soap is available then only I touch flush button.

Charan Deep Singh said...

Welcome to the club...

Colette Bates said...

I only found your blog today by way of it being next to mine (The Wishing Well) in the A to Z site's P sheet. No time enough to read all your posts today but an enjoyable visit, I browsed some of your earlier posts and absolutely loved your Glow in the Dark offering. best wishes for the remainder of the month and I'll look forward to returning to read more.

Charan Deep Singh said...

Thanks for your kind words colette. Can you share your blog link?

minalbhate said...

Hilarious!!!

Charan Deep Singh said...

😝

Anonymous said...

great publish, very informative. I ponder why the opposite specialists
of this sector don't realize this. You must proceed your writing.
I am confident, you've a great readers' base already!