Reflection #AtoZChallenge2020

Survived!

Fourth time. In four years!

My fourth consecutive, successful year of this blogging challenge provides me a sense of accomplishment, like nothing else. Writing is such a self-sufficient pursuit. And I mostly love it, because I have no material expectations from this. 

The 'reflection' post is a tradition of A to Z Challenge. This post is to look back at the challenge and see what worked and what didn't. It is also to thank all those who supported and encouraged me throughout the challenge. 

In each year that I have participated in this challenge, there have been different obstacles, that I had to overcome to complete it. In 2017, I was new to the challenge and I wasn't mentally prepared to handle the grind of daily posts. In 2018, I was better prepared mentally, but I picked up a theme and narrative structure which was tough to execute. And, I was travelling a lot. In 2019, I chose a topic close to my heart (Bollywood cliches) and had all topics listed before hand. But I had to undergo a surgery, so several posts were written when I was bed-ridden. This year, due to lock-down, while I was working from home, working hours were crazy. Many times, I had to wake up early to write the posts. Also this was the first time, my theme (Lock-down blues) was unfolding in front of my eyes on a daily basis. The times were and are gloomy, but I mostly wanted to write positive stories. Though some dark ones slipped through. 

This year, I played with forms of my posts to a certain extent. I wrote few poems/free verses, one even in Hindi, titled Saare Kutte. But the poem I enjoyed writing the most is Obdurate God. I wrote few fictional stories too, this year. While all are very close to my heart and are based on my observations about human greed, depravity and kindness, the one which got maximum love and appreciation from my readers is Joker in the Pack. There was this fun post, I wrote, about a conversation between inanimate objects. I think it turned out decent. You can read 'Umbrella, A Pair of Formal Shoes & That Suitcase' here. From my regular posts, the one which got the highest number of readers was Marketing Communication during Lockdown. 

As always, there were few posts (out of  the twenty-six, I wrote in this April Challenge) of mine which I think didn't turn out well. Youth & Regret is a decent poem, but later I felt that it had a weak link with my theme. 

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I would like to thank all my family members, friends and fellow bloggers who read the posts daily and commented on the blog posts. Many of you sent a word of appreciation or encouragement through Facebook comments and WhatsApp messages. Those messages really kept me going. 

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I would also like to thank some of the fellow participants in this challenge, who regularly read my blog and posted their comments. Each of them has a really interesting and niche blog. Sharing links and details below.

Joy Weese Moll talked about "What to pack on your creative Journey" . Joy's comment on my T post was a really interesting insight. 

Janet scrapbooked 26 concerts on her blog during the month. Something which I would have found really tough to do. 

Frederique's blog is about artistic endeavors. Have a look. 

Vidya's blog is something I aspire to have. Her book stacks amaze me and her command over writing mesmerizes me. 

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While my challenge on Lock-down blues was over 16 days ago, we are still not out of the fear and chaos the lockdown has caused. I hope by the time we return for the next challenge, our world is more open, beautiful and kind. 

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge was Lock-down blues. You can read all the posts from this challenge here. 

My theme for 2019's #AtoZchallenge was Hindi Film Industry / Bollywood cliches. You can read all the posts from this challenge here. 

My theme for 2018's #AtoZchallenge was Listicles - Stories, anecdotes and observations from our daily lives in form of easy-to-read lists. You can read all the posts from this challenge here.

My theme for 2017's #AtoZchallenge was Anecdotes & Stories from my Life. You can read all the posts from this challenge here.  

Reflections #AtoZChallenge 2019

I am a survivor! I completed this year's A to Z Challenge without missing a single day (except Sundays of course). There are 26 posts on my blog in April 2019, that vouch for this achievement. This was my third year in the challenge. Third consecutive year! And I am happy to report that I have now completed the challenge in all 3 years. But the third time, it is always tough. This year was really challenging because I had to get a surgery done at the start of the second week in April. I was unconscious for a large part of the second Monday of the month. And I still managed to write that day's post in a semi-dazed state, from my hospital bed. The post was about religion and Gods in Hindi Films / Bollywood. Post surgery, I was mostly tied to my bed and was in pain for almost a week. But there were those time slots every day, when painkillers were doing a great job, and when I was able to think straight and write.

The reflection post is an A to Z Challenge tradition. It helps the participants to look back at what worked and what didn't. It is also an opportunity to thank those who supported and encouraged during the challenge.

I would like to thank all my family members, friends and fellow bloggers who encouraged me by leaving their comments on my posts and sharing my posts with others. This year my challenge was based on a tight theme, and not on personal experiences or anecdotes, like last two years. This made me research a lot about the topics I was writing on and in the process I did learn some new stuff. I loved this aspect about the challenge this year. I wasn't very happy with my post from the letter V. While it had all the elements of a good post, it lacked a cohesive structure. I wish I could go back in time and make some changes in it.

There were good moments too. My mother read all my posts regularly. And that was exciting. While most friends shared their comments on Facebook, there were few who commented on blog posts as well. The comment I got from Melanie on 'letter F' post was detailed and heartfelt. Also I discovered a new blog, authored by Vidya, which is really interesting. I think I will keep going back to it.

Among my challenge posts my personal favorites are the ones on 'Occupations in Bollywood' and 'Parallel Comedy Tracks in Hindi Films.' I felt really happy after writing them, as not only I learnt something new while doing research for them, but also both posts were structurally very near to what I wanted.

Now its time to complete my reading goals for the year. I have already finished reading 8 books this year. While three of them were already reviewed on this blog, you can expect more book reviews soon on the blog. I am definitely going to do this blogging challenge again, with a fresh theme next year. What do you think I should be writing about in next April A - Z blogging challenge?

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge was Hindi Film Industry / Bollywood cliches. You can read all the posts from this challenge here. 

My theme for 2018's #AtoZchallenge was Listicles - Stories, anecdotes and observations from our daily lives in form of easy-to-read lists. You can read all the posts from this challenge here.

My theme for 2017's #AtoZchallenge was Anecdotes & Stories from my Life. You can read all the posts from this challenge here.  

Fast September

September of 2018, already feels like eons away. And it went by in the blink of an eye. All its memories  will soon become hazy and melt into the monolith of the time gone by. It makes me wonder about all the years, months, weeks, days and hours which were exactly the same. Nothing stands out. Yes, there are some milestones and memories, which I remember vividly. The memories, which actually define my life. Our lives. But then what is life? The moments and milestones which define it or the time you spend in between those memorable moments. 

There is so much of the same happening to all of us, that our memories now play with us. I generally remember key dates - like birthdays of my close friends and colleagues - very well. But if you ask me after few weeks of reading a book, about that book, I may not be able to recall all the details. So does reading help? I think it does. Because just like our lives, the narrative itself isn't the key. It is all the same. There is a set-up, followed by a conflict and then the resolution. What stays back from any book, is not the narrative, but the addition it makes to your perspective and the way you see your world.

The two books I read last month were as different as chalk and cheese. One was Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, which is essentially a love story written like a thriller. The other one was Salil Desai's 3 and a Half Murders, which is a whodunit but it works better as a police procedural.

In my earlier posts on Murakami's books, I had mentioned that he becomes inaccessible as an author at times. So people recommended Norwegian Wood, because they thought it is a straight-forward story. But I liked it for very different reasons. 

The key protagonists of this book - Toru and Naoko, whose love story, the author wants you to believe is epic, are the most boring and painful characters in this book. Both let things happen to them. They are just living their lives in between the key moments brought upon them by others. The other characters in this book - like Midori, who brings liveliness to the proceedings or Reiko who lends gravitas and mystique to the entire issue of mental illness  and loneliness explored in this story - are the ones who really move things forward. They catalyze things. They trigger events. They cause conflicts. These characters are so well fleshed out, that they make this book a great read. 

While the author doesn't get into the surreal zone - but his ability to make me think about memories of our lives (That explains my personal reflections in first two paragraphs of this post) and hide and seek these memories play with our minds - he creates a world equivalent to the world of magical realism he creates in his other books. So while the narrative is straight-forward, the reading of this book still leaves you with some twisted questions which you will keep chewing upon days after you have finished it. 

Lastly, the author uses sex liberally in the book, not to tantalize, but as a metaphor for the escape we seek from our mundane lives, the lives we spend between two milestones or two vivid memories. I think this aspect makes this book epic. Not its love story. 

I got 3 and a Half Murders as a gift on my birthday. I haven't read any of Salil Desai's books in past. And it was after a long time, I was reading a crime fiction. So I was really excited about it. It partially lives up to the expectations you have from such novels. It has a fast paced story, with characters that you encounter in daily lives or have heard about them. It is set in a very real world. It keeps you engaged throughout. The lead police officer / investigator has a sharp mind but is often weighed down by his physical ailments. That makes him standout in the world full of James Bond kind of operatives. The book works really well as a police procedural and thus makes you enjoy the details of an investigation. But as a whodunit, it disappoints. By the end of it, you really don't care who is the killer. Though you may not be able to guess who it is. Also the conclusion seems far from satisfactory and rushed. If you are looking for a rank page turner to spend time in a long flight, this one is a safe bet. 

September was like any other non-memorable month. I had been really busy with office work and travel. So the books really helped. Oh! I almost forgot that I shifted from one apartment to another on 1st of September. Staying in rental places is a pain. You don't feel rooted. That event of shifting though, itself feels like eons away. 

The Third Room

The house I stay in right now, has this small extra room, which we rarely use. We have partially converted it into a storage place. But my toddler often visits that room out of curiosity and explores the stuff lying there. Also as my parents and my niece were here recently, I used that room more often in last two weeks. One particular morning, when I was in that Third Room, I felt this strange sense of calm. Also I felt, I have been to such Third Rooms in past. Like that store room, in my grandparents' place which felt cold and haunted at times, but it had those large metal trunks, the ones that held blankets and rajais (bed quilts/duvets) and may be some secrets too. 

As a child did you ever escape into the world of your imagination while hiding in that metal trunk in the Third Room?

There was this cemented water tank on the second floor of the house I grew up in. Everyone stayed in that house - parents, brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. The space below that tank was a great way to hide from others and still enjoy the cold there in hot summers. The cold which might have frightened someone weaker than me. 

As a child did you ever think of yourself as a master strategist planning your next battle move lying on your back in a damp space of the Third Room?

The annual grains' supply for the entire joint family used to come in large gunny bags. For few days before the grains were transferred to the steel silos, the bags lied there in a corner in a bulwark formation. The evenings were really exciting. The cops chased all the robbers with their toy guns. The games we played revealed who were on the dark side.

As a child did you ever wait endlessly in the Third Room, behind a wall of gunny bags, to spring a surprise?

The Third Room is not really a physical space. It exists somewhere in our minds. As we grow up, we lock it up and forget about it. It is a place which is a great escape from our routine. It is a place to reflect upon the next move in your life. It is a place which might spring a pleasant surprise. The first two rooms are all about your family and your work. This Third Room is about you. It is time you find it and open it. The key is right there. There in your own hands.

Moving and Packing

28th Feb 2017: It was the last day at my previous job. I left my earlier organization after almost 10 years. I brought home three small cardboard boxes. 10 years, packed in three boxes. I was not allowed to bring back few things from office which I thought I own. Like the awards, my campaigns won. In fact, I have not even opened those three boxes since. And, I thought I would need those items.

29th Aug 2017: We were packing (movers and packers were doing their job, quickly and impersonally) for our impending move to Chennai. Leaving Mumbai, was a tough decision. But it was made with due diligence many many months ago. The entire household stuff we took along fitted in 47 boxes - big and small. Interestingly, we left lot of stuff behind. More importantly, we packed a small handbag, which carried all things very precious to us. We didn't want to lose any of these things, so we wanted to take that small bag along with us, in person, rather than transporting it. These things were precious, not necessarily, because of its monetary value. Some items hold immense emotional value for us. Like the customized wrappers of the chocolates, we distributed on our son's birth or a letter written by a friend years ago.

As I was going through the motions, during that hectic period of moving and packing, my thoughts were all over the place. I was little sad, because I was leaving the city that has given me so much (Read here). I was happy, because after 5 months of intense travelling and staying in hotels, finally I would get to spend more time with my family and my son. I was apprehensive, because I still don't feel comfortable with culture of the new city and the organization. It will take a long time to get acclimatized to it. After all, as you grow older, your adaptability goes down.

But then your acceptance goes up, as you grow older. You become more patient with things and people. You take lot of bullshit in your stride, relatively easily. You become more aware of what you truly value. There was immense learning in this entire exercise of moving and packing. I thought I must put it down in writing. Here are some lessons:

1. You never truly own anything. Things are ephemeral. What holds value for you today, may not be that important, when the context changes.

2. Loss of things don't hurt that much. What hurts you most is loss of people whose company you truly value.

3. You can plan your life to the last detail, but you still can't control the results.

4. Invest in experiences and create memories, rather than buying things. Those fridge magnets, from your past holidays, are far more important than that costly microwave oven.

5. Let go of the excess baggage. Moving and packing takes an emotional toll on you. But then there is nothing a chilled beer can't fix.

It has been 20 days since we moved to Chennai. I am sure eventually, we will settle here as well. We will find things we love to do. We will make new friends. We will explore new places. We will buy more things. But I will never be in my 20's again. Mumbai, will always remain my pehla pyaar, my first love.

Hide & Seek : Revelation

Few weeks back, I was having breakfast, in a restaurant, at the hotel I was staying in. I saw two kids playing hide and seek there. One of them had parked himself behind a column to hide from the seeker. I could sense the thrill of hiding and getting found out. 

I could remember my childhood days, when we also used to play the game of hide and seek, now and then. The 'hider' was very empowered, while job of the 'seeker' was at times frustrating. 

As I kept watching those kids, having a mouthful of pongal, a morbid thought crossed my mind. What if the seeker stops looking for the hider?

There would be no thrill in the game and in fact the seeker would be far more empowered. The hider would lose interest eventually and move away. It was a moment of reflection, a moment of revelation. That scene at the restaurant and the morbid thought has kept me haunted since.

Imagine a life, where you stop seeking! Won't you be more empowered? I know, it is simple to say and very difficult to practice. Also human race has progressed, because it looked for answers to its questions, sought solutions to its problems and seeks to do so even today. So can we really stop seeking?

But look around yourself. Somewhere we lost the ability to seek the right things. I feel happy one day, and down in the dumps the next. What brings about such extreme highs and lows? Are we looking for wrong things or are we looking too hard? Can we keep seeking, but stop expecting? Is it possible?

Stephen Hawking, the well renowned physicist, once said in an interview, “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus."

In this statement, he clearly differentiates between what he seeks and what he expects. His journey to unravel the universe and its mysteries has nothing to do with his expectations. Has he actualised the Geeta Saar in its most literal sense?

Another way to look at this issue is from human relationships point of view. I used to care for and do things for certain people, when they neither asked for it nor deserved it. They used this weakness of mine, without me realising it. I was like that 'seeker' who was looking for an acknowledgement. Then after a catastrophic incident few months back, when one of those beneficiaries (of my care and goodwill) questioned my motives, I realised my folly. I severed all ties from that individual, stopped seeking any acknowledgment from that person or anyone in my life like that. I have been in a happier space since then.

Don't fall in love with the idea that you are a giver. There is a supreme being who enables you to do so. Don't make idols of people who inspired you sometime in past. Everyone falls. Expect them to. Stop helping those who don't believe in hard work and learning. Those nincompoops will come back and bite you. In your butt. Stop being a seeker and feel more empowered.

But trust people. Even if you are betrayed, trust them. That's what keeps the humanity going. Keep your family and friends close. They are your ultimate support system. Seek the power to withstand all the tribulations from the inside of your mind.

'Hide and Seek' is a silly game anyways. Try 'Snakes and Ladders' instead! It always keeps you in play, despite the bites.