W : Work/Life/Wife in Lockdown #AtoZChallenge2020

This is not a didactic post. So if you believe that you will get some great tips for a good work-life balance, you can stop reading right now. Because I am really, really, really bad in managing work-life balance. If I am immersed in work, I don't realize the passage of time. I find it very difficult to switch off my work-mode. The gears in my brain are constantly moving. Thinking the thoughts. Making the plans. Optimizing to-do lists. Even when I am sleeping. I get dreams about my work. Some might call them nightmares. Now you know how bad I am with work-life balance. And at rare times, like on longer holidays (anything more than 3 days) when I am able to switch off, I get so immersed in my personal life, that I need a serious kick in my butt, to switch on my work-mode. So inertia works both ways for me. I can't seem to do anything in half measures. 

But there were some factors pre-lockdown which helped me somewhat. Like it was clear to me that you could afford not to work on weekends and instead be a couch potato. If I could see darkness, outside my office cabin, I instinctively knew, I could now go home. Fixed office timings helped a lot, as you couldn't have meetings if everyone had left. Also my stomach used to tell me it is time for dinner and thus I knew I should shut down my laptop.

But this lockdown has played havoc with my carefully cultivated habits and instincts. Now every day is same - the concept of weekends is like a thing of past. I don't need to go home to eat, as now food comes to me. So another signal to shut down my laptop is taken away by these really cruel times. People can now call for meetings at the drop of a hat. They think if you are 'Working From Home' there is no point in following office decorum, of not calling some one late in the night. And in these dark times, even if you get engulfed by physical darkness, your natural instincts - of calling it a day - are curbed. 

So if you are like me and you too have a spouse who is totally totally aghast at your inability to be at home while 'Working From Home', here are few things your spouse can try at his/her own risk. If any aggrieved spouse is reading this post, don't hate me. Thank me for the suggestions below. 

1. After 5 pm, start mixing alcohol in his / her beverages. It will lull him / her into sleep putting the laptop on sleep mode. 

2. Start playing music / TV at a really high volume. He / She can't have too many meetings by just being on mute. 

3. Jam their mobile signals and kill their WiFi - without them suspecting that it is not God's act

4. Throw his / her laptop outside the window, by mistake of course

5. Video call his / her office crush. That will force him / her to come out of makeshift office space, in a more agreeable mode. And may be with his / her pyjamas on too.

Reiterating. Aggrieved spouses should try these things at their own risk!

What are the methods you will try which are less riskier? Help my wife know, in the comments section!

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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here. 

Previous Challenges : Letter W

2017: Wikipedia

2018: WhatsApp Groups - Types and Management Techniques

2019: Whites in Hindi Films / Bollywood

Fun things that never happen to me...

I have been meaning to write something meaningful for last few days. But I was not able to work around my thoughts in a coherent manner. The meaningful thoughts, I mean. The thoughts that have a definite sense of purpose. I had almost decided to write about 'Corporate Etiquette'. But I didn't want to offend anyone. At least in July. I also was thinking about 'Life Goals' as a great topic for a blog post. But I can't write about something, I have a poor idea about. After all this struggle, I have succumbed to a click-bait title for my post. 'Fun things that never happen to me...'

But let me confess that I have no idea why I got attracted to this post title. I have really not much to say on this. I am not even sure if your idea of 'fun things', is same as my idea of 'fun things'. I am almost certain you didn't find the previous sentence fun. But I did! Hope you find things I am going to write about in next few paragraphs fun. I can assure you they never happen to me, keeping my side of the deal.

People around me are just losing weight by willing for it to happen. On the other hand, I am constantly being advised by my well-wishers (read total strangers) to join a group of runners or adopt the caveman diet. Do they realize that cavemen never had to sit in office late, scrolling through large datasheets?

My friends regularly post their encounters with celebrities on social media. Ok! Not regularly, but fairly consistently! When I used to stay in Mumbai, I often frequented the places, which are known for celebrity appearances. But I never saw or met any film actor worth his or her salt. I once attended an event in Delhi, where Boman Irani and Shahrukh Khan were on stage. But that doesn't count. Also if I pay for tickets to attend a play or a concert, that is not really an encounter. Once when we saw Govinda at Singapore airport, everyone ambushed him and I got cropped out of a probable memorable picture. I can still see my half desperate face in the one that actually got clicked. Once we were at Shoppers Stop, Juhu. My wife and my mother-in-law were the ones actually shopping. I spotted an obese man in a pink T-Shirt and brown shorts. He had a shabby stubble and uncombed hair. And wearing man-sandals. David Dhawan, the director of several hit Govinda films, was standing right in front of me performing a non-celebrity chore. My mother-in-law was enamored. He is not really the kind of celebrity, my friends post about on social media. Neither is Paresh Rawal, whom I spotted drinking at OnToes, Juhu once. Or Manoj Joshi who was eating a Vada Pav outside my college. Or Aftab Shivdasani, who was standing alone under a dark tree, in the night, waiting for someone outside a multiplex. Do my friends realize that when they put their pictures with a popular hot actress on facebook, I feel like killing them?

I always put a lot of thought when it comes to gifting someone. Sadly, I rarely receive gifts. People just have this special ability to forget me on my birthday or anniversary. But, whenever I receive a gift, I find it funny, that people know so little about me. I must have received 3-5 dinner sets over last few years. People bring sad souvenirs for me from their travels abroad or over-sized shirts from discount stores. Why I never get things I love? Just putting it out through this forum, that I like Liquor Bottles, Holiday Vouchers, Good Books, Music, Movies and Eating out. And if you are the cheap one and still want to be thoughtful, share your Amazon Prime Video password with me.

Lots of people value their work-life balance. I know this guy, who switches off his phone when he is on leave. There is no way you can reach out to him. It is a good thing actually. But he is such a brute, that he always finds it fine to call you late in the night or message you on a Sunday. Ironically, he works in Human Resources function. Once a girl, reached out to me on facebook for office work. I was on a holiday abroad and was unable to check my phone for few hours, so she found this route perfectly fine. She left her job few months later citing work-life balance issues. I envy both these people. 

I am sure there are many other fun things that never happen to me, but there is one funny thing, which happens to me every year once. My pay hike. Peanuts!