A behavioral scientist, Elizabeth Weingarten, recently published an article titled - 20 questions to ask instead of "How are you doing right now?"
She goes on to say that when the pandemic started it was a useful question at first, an assumption-free signal of care. But when you keep asking this question on default mode, the responses become almost scripted and reflexive. Also when you keep asking the same question again and again you lose out on a chance of building deeper connections. It is a beautiful article which then goes on to list 20 questions which go beyond "How are you doing right now?"
Though I must also say, that in a totally different context, I had dabbled with this subject myself two years back. You can click here to read that post as well.
For today's post, I am going to answer the questions listed by Elizabeth, for myself. May be this exercise will help me get in touch with my inner self and help you understand me much better. So here we go.
Eleven questions for making a true connection
1. How are you taking care of yourself today?
Answer: Not something earth shattering, but during this lockdown, I have reduced my diet a bit and have been drinking less and also ensuring some physical activity whenever I get time off from my work.
2. What part of your shelter-in-place residence have you come to appreciate the most?
Answer: Our terrace and balcony. I mean these are the only open spaces we have access to right now. I envy people who have gardens.
3. What surprising thing have you been stocking up on (that isn't toiler paper)?
Answer: Surprisingly nothing. We are not panic buying. Though we have to always keep enough cookies in stock for our son. Also I wish I had stocked up some liquor before the lockdown started. Now I have to ration it judiciously.
4. What's a story - from a book, a movie, an article, a conversation - that you've been gripped by recently? Why did it capture you?
Answer: I recently finished Jaya by Devdutt Patanaik. It is a retelling of Mahabharata. It had some fascinating stories. A total escape from these dreary times.
5. What habit have you started, or broken, during the quarantine?
Answer: Nothing much. But I think I am watching lesser TV on weekdays. And I am spending relatively more time with my son. Now whether these are habits or the situation is forcing these acts, time will tell.
6. Which specific place in your neighborhood are you most looking forward to visiting one this is all over?
Answer: Obviously, a cinema hall and the neighborhood bar.
7. What is the easiest part about the quarantine?
Answer: There is no commute to office. But I must say 'Work From Home' is something I have come to dislike as it means that one has to be connected for more hours.
8. What are some things you have realized that you don't really need?
Answer: So many shoes!
9. What is something you own that feels useful?
Answer: Internet connection, microwave and books
10. What is your COVID-19 nickname/alter-ego?
Answer: No one has kept a nickname for me but I think my alter-ego should be Iron-Man. Because, I keep tinkering with stuff. May be this is not an honest answer. So my dear reader, why don't you give me a nickname in the comments section. Moderation is on. So be nice please!
11. What problem - either yours, or something more global - do you wish you could solve?
Answer: Fake news & people who think 'Work From Home' is a holiday.
Nine questions for taking things a step further
12. What's something that you miss that surprises you? What's something that you don't miss that surprises you?
Answer: I miss office and its more regular working hours. I am not missing watching films, in a cinema hall. Surprising, because I am a movie buff, who can watch back to back movies on a big screen, every weekend. May be that is also because nothing is getting released anyway so I am not having FOMO.
13. Which member of your family / friend group have you been thinking about the most during this time? Why?
Answer: My parents. They stay far from me. But I always had this comfort in my mind that we can visit each other, whenever we want. Now I realize how we take things for granted. Something as simple as flights.
14. What's the most generous act you've seen recently?
Answer: I really appreciate the work, doctors and nurses have been doing. And people who are ensuring delivery of essentials. I know some people who are feeding the hungry. That makes me feel the goodness all around.
15. What's the last thing you experienced that made you laugh, or cry?
Answer: My son always makes me feel happy and makes us laugh. Last night, we played hopscotch on our terrace. Me and my wife. For a brief time, we went back to our childhood.
16. What times of the day or the week are hardest?
Answer: Every night when I lie down, I am more anxious these days. When I am engaged in work, I feel okay though. Also Sunday evenings are gloomy. Because you may believe it or not, I still get the Monday Blues.
17. What's giving you hope right now?
Answer: That I am not alone in this. My family is with me. And the fact that I still have a job.
18. What's the best thing that happened to you today?
Answer: Few people gave nice comments on the blogpost I wrote yesterday.
19. How do you want this experience to change you? How do you think it will?
Answer: I don't know if it will. But I want that it helps me make more brave choices in life.
20. What do you hope we all learn or take away from this experience?
Answer: I hope that we all learn that joy is in smaller things and let us hope we all slow down a bit and reflect on the purpose of our lives.
I urge all of you to do the following:
3. Give me a nickname (refer to Q10) in the comments section
4. Answer few of the above questions, if you feel like, in comments section and let me know more about you.
See you all on Monday, with my letter W post. God Speed!
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My theme for this year's #AtoZchallenge is Lock-down Blues. I intend to write and talk about how I deal with it, what it inspires me to read or watch or any aspect of it which fascinates me. You can read the theme reveal post here.
Previous Challenges : Letter V
4 comments:
Amazing...After reading this nowonwards ill a start asking few questions rather than saying hope all well at your end....(which looks formal and scripted)
Best of luck sneha
Well written Charan. Most homes in chandigarh have no access to terrace. So I miss my home in Dehradun for its large terrace with Mussoorie view. Though there are many other things to miss but this one is something I think of everyday.
Thanks Megha. Hopefully this thing will soon be over and we can enjoy open spaces.
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